Getting Into The Spirit - Tate
It was slowly creeping toward Christmas, the days seemed to be getting shorter and darker but not a speck of snow had been seen. With only five days till Christmas Eve, everyone was getting into the spirit, decorating Christmas trees, buying gifts, and singing. But above all the commotion down on the streets you could hear two raised voices, and they were not singing a Christmas carol or even a pop song. They were arguing, and they had been for the last three days. They weren’t even arguing about anything in particular, but everything.
“Blair!” the first voice screamed.
“What is it now? Haven’t I followed your commands properly this time?” retorted the second voice, Blair’s voice.
“That’s right, being sarcastic will definitely get you out of this one!” Jim yelled in the most sarcastic tone he could find in himself. “How hard is it to turn off a damn light when you leave the room? I am so sick and tired of following you around to turn off the lights behind you, and I can hear you mocking me!”
“Oh, Jim! Come on, man! What really is your problem? This has been going on for days.”
“And it will continue to go on until you learn to show some respect for me and my house!” And with that, Jim walked into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.
“I wonder what the neighbors must think," Blair whispered, almost silently to himself.
“I don’t care what the neighbors think!” came Jim’s smart-assed reply.
Blair grabbed his coat and wallet and stormed out of the loft. As he stomped along the snow-covered pavement he fumed over Jim’s mood. Had he done something to cause Jim to lose it like this? Had something happened at work? And, how the hell was he supposed to find out if Jim wouldn’t say anything to him?
Jim leant on the basin, staring into the mirror. Why did he keep screaming at Blair? Blair hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t Blair’s fault he felt this way. Jim began to think about how strong his feelings for Blair had grown over the past two years. He was frustrated because he was sure Blair didn’t feel that way about him. There was nothing else to do, he decided. He had to tell Blair. Even if he was laughed at, at least it was out in the open and he could hopefully stop screaming at Blair and salvage what was left of their friendship.
Over the next few days, Jim hadn’t found the courage to say anything to Blair, let alone tell him how he felt, and now it was Christmas Eve. Something had to be said. Jim didn’t want to be responsible for ruining Blair’s Christmas.
“Jim. What the hell is your problem? You haven’t said anything to me for the last 3 days. Normally when you give me the silent treatment it only lasts a few hours. What’s the deal?” Blair asked with a frustrated tone.
“I’m sorry, Blair.” Now was the time.
Blair shook his head in frustration. “I don’t care if you're sorry or not. What gives?”
Jim heaved a sigh, Here goes… “Blair, I need to get something off my chest, but I don’t know how to say it, so, I don’t know… none of this is your fault. It’s not your fault that I feel like this.”
“Feel like what? Do you want me out or something? ‘Cause, hey, I’ll oblige. I really don’t know how long I can live like this, with you constantly breathing down my neck!” Blair said the last part a lot louder than he had meant to and regretted it immediately when he saw tears welling in Jim’s eyes. If only he could just take the bigger man in a warm embrace and kiss those tears away. “Jim, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”
“It’s all right, Chief. I don’t want you to leave, it’s actually the opposite. I love you, Blair. I just haven’t known how to say it. I know you don’t feel the same. Maybe we can just forget that I said anything.” Jim was staring at his feet.
“I don’t want to forget it. I love you too.”
Jim looked up quickly, not sure if his sentinel ears were playing tricks on him or not. “What did you just say?” he whispered, still not sure if he'd heard what he thought he had.
“I said that I love you too. I've been thinking the past few weeks that you didn’t want anything more to do with me.” Blair walked over to Jim and put his arms around his waist. Jim returned the gesture, hugging him tightly. “I think this is the only thing that has ever felt so right. I love you, Jim.”
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Acknowledgments: Many thanks to my Auntie Ann for the beta and the art.