Dude, You're Getting A... Never Mind by Tinnean

Dude, You're getting a... Never Mind - Tinnean

"Goddamned son of a bitch bastard!"

Blair walked into the loft in time to see Jim Ellison, his partner and roommate, whomp the side of his computer tower.

"What's going on, Jim?"

"You would want a Gateway." Jim threw a glare his way, then turned back to move the mouse and click the required buttons to restart the computer. "Oh, isn't that peachy?!" he snarled when nothing happened and he had to press the off button. As soon as the monitor went dark, he pressed it again, turning it back on.

"My friend Joe recommended it, and he knows whereof he speaks."

"Yeah, yeah. Piece of shit computer!"

"Hey, don't say that in front of it, Jim! You'll hurt its feelings!"

"Ask me if I care. And if your friend Joe ever comes around here, I'm personally gonna kick his ass all up and down Prospect!"

"Okay, tough guy." Blair went to Jim and began rubbing his shoulders, which were tight with knots. "What's the matter?" He leaned down and kissed his lover's jaw.

Jim tilted his head to the side, giving Blair better access to his neck, then straightened abruptly. The tantalizing feel of those lips against his skin wasn't going to distract him. Well, not very much, at any rate. "It's not working! A three gigahertz processor. Three hundred gigs of hard drive. Over a thousand megabytes of shared memory... "

"Uh, that's a gig, Jim."


"It's a... never mind. What's the problem?"

"The damned thing doesn't work!" He raised his hand to smack it again, but then his shoulders slumped disconsolately. "Oh, the mouse works fine. I can click and go to wherever I need online, open any program. But I can't type a single line! What the fuck good is this to me? I can't write a letter, can't type in my password to get to... "

"Get to where, Jim?"

"Amazon!" Jim cleared his throat. "I wanted to order something from Amazon, and I couldn't." He wondered if Blair bought that.

"Take a deep breath and calm down, Jim. Have you tried... "

"Don't say 'rebooting', because I'll hurt you! I've rebooted and rebooted... Dammit, Chief! This thing is brand new! It shouldn't be crapping out on me like this!"

"Hmmm. Let me take a look at it."

"All right, Einstein." Jim rose, giving the tower a final glare for good measure but refraining from kicking its sorry ass, and stood aside while Blair settled himself in the seat he'd just vacated. "Let's see what you can do with it."

Blair gave him a cocky grin, and Jim felt his jeans tighten over his sudden arousal. Damn, the kid's smile always did that to him! And for the most part, Blair knew it!

There had been a time when Jim had spent his nights dreaming of the two of them having hot monkey sex but afraid to say anything, afraid that Blair would look at him pityingly, pat his shoulder, and go out on a date with another in a long line of hot bimbos.

That had changed when he'd seen the bullet heading for Blair's chest but had been unable to get to him in time to shove him out of the way. 'Chief!' He'd cradled the limp, unconscious form. 'Don't be dead! I love you, goddammit!'

Those blue eyes had opened, blinked, and a smile had lit Blair's face. 'I love you too, Jim.' Then he'd spoiled the romantic moment by rubbing his chest and grousing, 'Geez, they don't tell us about this at the Academy.' He'd unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the Kevlar vest he'd worn for the first time that day. 'It hurts!'

"What the..." Blair was frowning at the keyboard, jolting Jim out of his fond memories of how they'd spent the night once they'd got home. "The number lock key isn't lit." He jabbed at it. It still didn't light. "Okay, let me try restarting it."

Jim opened his mouth to say something about already doing that, twice already in fact, but the expression on Blair's face told him that right now it might be a good idea to keep quiet.

Blair restarted the computer. The number lock light still didn't go on. "Why you miserable piece of shit computer!" He was clearly outraged that the machine hadn't worked for him. "Dammit, I really feel bad about this, Jim."

Jim couldn't help laughing. "Never mind, Chief. I'll bring it back to Best Buy tomorrow. Meanwhile, if you really want to make it up to me... " He grabbed Blair's hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Where are we going, Jim?"

"Upstairs, Blair. There are some things technology just can't get a handle on."

"Your dick being one of them?" Blair grinned at him

"Oh, yeah." And they hustled up the stairs, unaware that the numbers lock light had finally come on.


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Acknowledgment: Thank you to Annie for the beta, and to Ankaree for the artwork. What great sibs are on this list!