New Year's Resolution - Debbie
Blair sat in the darkness of the loft, wondering why he was alone on New Year's Eve. He had never been alone before on New Year's Eve. There was Shirley last year, Heather the year before that and any number of women since he'd reached the age of consent. Well, not only women. There had been young men when he was in his early twenties. However, there had been no men since he had hooked up with Jim, mainly, because there was Jim. That was the real problem. Almost from the first day Blair had met Jim in the flesh, he'd fallen in love with his very straight, very handsome roommate and partner.
Blair had jacked off to images of Jim in his mind countless times, mostly well away from Jim's presence, knowing Sentinel smell and hearing would betray what he was doing. Blair kept up a fašade of going out with women and making himself out as a ladies' man. He had watched as Jim became enamored over any pretty woman who came into his life. There was Carolyn Plummer, Jim's ex-wife, ADA Beverly Sanchez, attorney Isabel Kane, whom Blair had been after also, Laura McCarthy - Jim had practically jumped her bones, Angie Ferris, the singer, and many others over the years. There was no way Jim would even entertain the idea of being in love, or in a relationship, with his male Guide and friend.
Take tonight as an example. Jim was out with Megan Conner, his fellow detective in Major Crime. Megan and Jim had been an item for about six months. They always tried to include Blair on their outings, mainly because Megan genuinely liked Blair as well as Jim. She also knew about Jim's heightened senses, so there was no need to explain to her about Jim's abilities. Blair had been surprised shortly before Christmas when Jim announced to Blair that he thought he was falling in love with Megan, that she might be the one. Blair had been heartbroken, thinking Jim was lost to him forever.
Jim had asked Blair if he wanted to go to the New Year's Eve party. He told Blair that Megan wanted him to be included with his date. Blair begged off at the last minute, telling Jim that he and his date were going to a private party at her place. Blair made sure the meaning was clear to Jim. However, it had all been a lie. There was no date and no party. There was just Blair Sandburg, feeling sorry for himself and sulking over his loss at the loft.
Blair got to his feet, walking over to the balcony windows, looking out into the crisp, cold Cascade night. His mind drifted to New Year's resolutions. He had never been a resolution type of guy, but hey, he figured it couldn't hurt. There was only one resolution on his list.
Tell Jim how he felt.
Blair wondered if he'd be able to fulfill his resolution. He worried that it was too late, that Jim had Megan and the two of them were destined to be together, be married and have children together. Possible Sentinel children. The odds were in their favor that their children would have at least some heightened senses. Blair was sure that he could teach Megan how to help Jim with his senses. She had already shown an ability to help Jim in the field at crime scenes. That way, Blair could leave, knowing he couldn't stay and watch Jim with a woman. Maybe Blair would even be able to find someone for himself, be happy, and forget Jim Ellison.
Blair snorted and laughed aloud. Forget Jim? Like that was even an option. But maybe he could forget the pain of not having Jim as a lover.
The New Year's resolution made, Blair turned and made his way over to his small bedroom. Jim wouldn't be home for hours. He could jack off a couple of times. It would harden his resolve to tell Jim what he wanted. To tell Jim that he loved him.
Smell was the overriding sense assaulting Jim as he approached the loft. He tried to identify the smells and he came up short as he reached the door. There were pheromones and the smell of ejaculate, along with sweat and musk mingled in together with it all. Jim extended his hearing, only cataloguing one heartbeat inside the loft. Blair was alone in the loft. Jim knew the smells were recent, within the last fifteen minutes or so.
Jim unlocked the door and walked into the darkened loft. He didn't need to turn on any of the lights for his benefit. He pinpointed Blair's heartbeat coming from his room. Jim walked over to the small room, noticing the doors were open. Jim didn't want to invade Blair's privacy, but he wondered what Blair was doing. Jim stood off to the side of the bedroom's open doorway, not wanting to spook Blair. He peered around the corner, spotting Blair on his bed, stroking his cock in a rhythm, mumbling to himself in time to the strokes. Jim just stood there, watching, enjoying the show. He was rooted in place.
He watched as Blair increased his strokes and his mumblings became a little louder. Jim could just make out the words.
"Yeah, man! That's it. Give it to me, Jim! Harder! Harder!" Blair's breathing became ragged as the activity increased. Suddenly, Blair came. "Yes, yes, yes! I love you, Jim!"
Jim stood stock still, afraid even to breathe. How could it be that Blair was jacking off to him? Blair was straight. There had never been any indication that Blair was into men. Jim had seen Blair date women. There was Maya, whom, according to Blair, he had fallen in love with, Isabel Kane, having been handcuffed to on the train, Janet Myers, who Blair loved when he was younger, Iris, the drug-smuggler, who Blair had flirted with initially, Molly, who Jim had witnessed kissing Blair in his office, and many others over the years.
Jim focused back on Blair, watching as the man came back to himself and his breathing evened out. Blair started moving in his bed and Jim backed out of sight. He didn't want Blair to know he had witnessed such an intimate act. Jim quickly and quietly moved over to the door to give the impression that he had just come home, so Blair wouldn't suspect anything. He walked outside the door, closing it softly behind him. He then came back in, making enough noise so Blair would know he was there.
By the time Jim came back in, Blair was in the bathroom. Jim could hear the water running in the shower. Blair was trying to cover up what he had done. But the image etched in Jim's mind was how beautiful Blair had looked in the throes of passion.
Jim moved over to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Jim took the water, moving from the kitchen to the living room. He sat down on the couch and thought about Blair and the fact that it seemed he was interested in Jim. Jim was definitely interested in Blair. He had been ever since slamming Blair up against the artifact shelves in his office, mere inches from those full, kissable lips. Jim could feel his cock getting hard and slightly uncomfortable in the confines of his pants. Megan didn't even do this to him.
That was part of the reason he was home early. Megan told Jim that he needed to tell Blair how he felt about him. When Jim acted as if he didn't have a clue, she told Jim that she knew Jim cared more for Blair than just as a friend. Jim admitted his feelings for Blair, but was afraid Blair didn't feel the same way, the way he chased after women. Megan had convinced Jim to confront Blair and for the two of them to talk.
Jim heard the shower turn off, but decided to sit where he was and wait for Blair to come out. He definitely didn't want to startle his best friend. He sat on the couch, trying to come up with the words to tell Blair how he felt and where he wanted their relationship to head. Jim could still smell sex and pheromones in the air.
Blair dried off, putting on sweats afterwards. He came out of the bathroom, knowing he had to put on clean sheets and maybe air out the loft before Jim came home. Even as he walked back into his bedroom, he could smell the result of his actions. But when he had pictured Jim in his mind, he was posing, nude, just for Blair. The smile came back across Blair's face as he pulled off the soiled sheets and threw them temporarily on the floor. He went out to get clean sheets from the closet near his bedroom.
He spotted something out of the corner of his eye as he turned to go back to his bedroom. Someone was sitting in the living room. It looked like the top of Jim's head, but Blair knew it couldn't be Jim. Jim wasn't due home until later.
Blair's feet carried him towards the living room, still carrying the clean sheets. He stood in front of the couch. It was Jim.
"Umů Jim? What are you doing home, man? I thought you had a hot date with Megan. Did you two have a fight? Am I going to have to console her?"
While Blair was rambling on, Jim got to his feet and closed the distance between them. He leaned in, kissing Blair on the lips, effectively stopping Blair's flow of words.
Blair's eyes widened in surprise and his brain tried to catch up to what was happening. This was his straight friend kissing him. It made no sense. Blair pulled away from Jim's hold and lips, hearing a soft moan.
"What's going on, Jim?" Blair's confusion was evident.
"I love you, Blair." Short and to the point, in words even a befuddled Blair could understand.
"Really?" Blair took a deep breath and turned away from Jim. "Not just screwing with my head?" The last said softly, but Jim heard the words clearly.
Jim moved forward, needing contact once more with Blair. He placed his hands on Blair's shoulders. "That's not what I want to screw with, Chief." There was a soft chuckle.
Blair started laughing. It started slow and soft, but gathered strength as he stood there. He turned to face Jim.
"My New Year's resolution." He pulled Jim into a hug and started kissing Jim's face and neck.
Jim accepted the nearness of his friend and returned the kisses. "So, we're on the same wavelength?"
Blair only nodded, as he was busy trying to undo Jim's shirt and expose the massive chest.
Jim nuzzled Blair's neck and swirled his tongue around the sensitive outer shell of Blair's ear. He could feel his lover shudder slightly.
"Why don't we take this upstairs? It'll be much more comfortable."
Blair nodded again, as he continued to lick and suck on Jim's nipples.
Jim moved them towards the stairway up to his bedroom. Jim smiled -- it would soon be their bedroom.
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Acknowledgments: Thank you to Lyn for the beta and Candygram for the artwork.