Discovering Love by Patt

Discovering Love - Patt

Cascade was a large city, broken up into two divisions. The first subdivision housed Sentinels and their families. The second subdivision was for Guides and their families. Bonded Guides and Sentinels could live anywhere they wished to live and raise their families.

All guides and Sentinels knew who they were meant for. So there was never a question about who would be with whom. Blair Sandburg was a Professor at the University and loved his job. Teaching was the most essential thing in his life. He knew that Sentinel Ellison was waiting somewhere to Bond with him, but Blair could never leave his life. So for the time being, he just taught and lived along side friends and family.

He had a magnificent life, and outstanding friends. He was a little lonely since his mother passed away four years before that. She had been a guide also. She wouldn’t settle down with her Sentinel because she didn’t even stay around for Blair. She had been a wonderful parent when she was there, but he had missed out on a lot of her time.

Every day after his classes, he would convene with four or five of his friends and they would discuss the next day’s plans for class. That night, Sean, a Biology Professor asked, “Does anyone know Bill Martin?”

“Sure, I know him. Why?” Blair asked.

“He was taken away today by the Sentinel Division. He didn’t bond and had some sort of breakdown.” Sean seemed unhappy about this news.

“I’m sorry. I know you were close.” Blair touched his back.

“I was in love with him. And because I wasn’t his Guide, we were separated. It’s not fair. His Guide is nowhere to be found.”

“Are you saying that you would continue to be with him after he bonded?” Blair wondered aloud.

“Of course. I’m in love with him.” Sean answered.

Josh finally had to say something. “Sean, I don’t think that would work. You would be in love with Bill, but he would be bonded and in love with someone else.”

“I agree with Josh, Sean. You’re best not knowing where he is.” Blair continued to rub his friend's back.

“Easy for you to say. You’re not in love.” Sean spat out angrily.

Nathan stood up and said, “I think we should all go home and just relax.”

Josh smiled and patted Nathan’s back as he said, “Good thinking, teach.”

“I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Blair called out over his shoulder.

They all left and went their separate ways. Driving home, Blair had time to think about it and realized he would have to talk to Sean the next day. It would be horrible to be in love with someone and then have him taken away from you. Maybe Sean could go and see Bill at the Institution and see if they could help him get Bill better. Maybe a man could be taught how to be a guide. Stranger things had happened.

Tomorrow would be a better day. He just knew it. Maybe they could all check in to finding Bill and visiting him and Sean could really see him.


Two days later, Sean walked into Blair’s office. “You were right. They’re willing to teach me the way of the Guide. I won’t be his real guide, but Sean is coming around. It’s working. Thank you so much, Blair. Without your advice, I would have just given up. Bill gets to come home this weekend.”

Blair pulled Sean into a strong hug and said, “I’m so happy for you. Take care of him as I’m sure he’ll take care of you.”

Across town;

Sentinel Ellison was a lost man. He rarely left his home because he couldn’t seem to control his senses. His friend and Captain at the station, Simon Banks, had to take him out of commission. He had almost been killed numerous times and Simon wouldn’t have been happy about that. Jim missed his friends and co-workers. No one came to see him because Jim had asked them not to.

It had gotten so bad at the Ellison residence that William Ellison had decided to go and talk to Blair Sandburg and see if he could talk some sense into the young Guide.

After class Blair saw the nice looking older gentlemen sitting in his office and said, “I’m Professor Sandburg, may I help you?”

William stood up and shook hands and said, “I’m Sentinel Ellison’s father. He’s failing quickly. He’s my son. I don’t want to lose him. Could you at least talk to him?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Ellison, but I just don’t believe in the Guide and Sentinel program. I think we should be able to choose our own lifemates.” Blair stood up to leave and the door opened and Jim Ellison stormed in looking like a walking casualty.

“I told you to never bother him. Ever. Go home, old man.” Jim ordered as William walked out of the room. Jim turned to Blair and said, “Professor Sandburg, this will never happen again. I’m truly sorry.” As Jim started to leave Blair touched his arm and Blair felt a shock go through his body as Jim felt it at the same moment.

“Please don’t touch me again.” Jim started to leave.


“Because I can’t control my urges. The call to mate is too great. I need to bond and you don’t want to. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay clear of me.” With that said Jim left and hurried out of the building.

The following day, William came to Blair’s office again and said, “He doesn’t know I’m here. So he won’t come today. Could you tell me how to help him control his senses? He’s been unable to work for three months now. He’s so depressed, I fear he’ll take his own life.”

“He knows that a Sentinel can’t take his own life. It’s forbidden.” Blair said simply.

“Can you assist me, Guide Sandburg?” William asked. “I think he doesn’t care if it’s forbidden.”

“Fair enough. I’ll write some things down for you to try and you see if they’ll help.” For the next two hours, Blair wrote many good ideas to help Jim control his senses. Once he was done William stood to leave. “Can I perhaps call tonight if I have troubles with these ideas?”

“I guess so. But the Guide City frowns on me taking calls from a Sentinel City home when I’m not bonded to said Sentinel.” Blair explained.

“Please, he is my son. I can’t imagine they would keep that close an eye on any person.” William hoped his pleading would work. It did. Blair gave him a small piece of paper with his name on it and then his number beneath it.

“Good luck, Mr. Ellison.”

“Good luck to you also, Guide Sandburg. I know you don’t want to be bonded to my son, but I still wish you well.” William left and hurried home to try some new things on Jim. He only hoped that Jim wouldn’t punch him in the nose for getting into his business again. William smiled at the thought. Jim looked mean, but he was primarily gentle. He wouldn’t harm his father for anything.


Blair graded papers and grinned at some of the answers his students had put. They were such a pleasure most of the time. Rarely did he get upset with any of them.

Quite a few of them had just come from a Sentinel/Guide class and were very excited. The class made it sound as if it was something wonderful. Blair wanted to explain things to them, but he knew it was none of his business. They would learn soon enough. How could anyone be content being owned by another? Blair shook his head from side to side and walked out the door.

He went to dinner at a small Greek Restaurant around the corner from his home. Once he was seated the waitress came over.

“Hello, Blair. It’s wonderful to see you. Are you well?”

“I’m doing very well, thank you. I’ll take my regular dinner and could I have it to go? I’m somewhat tired tonight.” Blair realized he was exhausted.

“Sit tight and it’ll be ready in a flash.” Sophia rushed off to get things ready. Blair loved this place. He really loved the stuffed spinach leaves. Who would think that would taste good? He caught Sophia and asked her to get him some stuffed leaves, also. He was going to splurge tonight.

While he waited he began to try and figure out what was wrong with him lately. He seemed to long for something; he just didn’t know what. I wonder if being a Guide is more important than I believe.

About ten minutes later, Sophia walked over carrying his dinner in a bag. “Here you go, Blair. There is plenty of Greek Salad and Stuffed Leave’s to fill you up.”

“Thanks, Sophia. Give my love to the family.” Blair walked up front and paid for his meal, leaving Sophia a generous tip and left.

Walking home he thought about Sophia. It was so cute that she was a 100% Italian and Thomas was a 100% Greek. But they made it work and had that fantastic restaurant to prove it. Now who would have thought these two people coming from such different ways of life would end up together. Their parents were enemies and yet, the children still fell in love. But their parents believed that it was forced on them, not by choice. Just as I have believed all of these years.

Blair watched their children from time to time at the restaurant. They were perfect angels. Blair always wondered if he would make a good father and once Sophia told him that he would. He looked forward to the day when he would have his own family.

Sophia and Thomas were Guide and Sentinel. Not everyone knew this, but Blair sensed it when they first met. Thomas was the Guide and Sophia was the Sentinel. They were perfect together and their children were too. They had three, and two were Sentinels. The Program was quite happy with the Guides and Sentinels that had little Sentinels or little Guides.

Continuing the walk home, he started whistling a happy tune. He was happy for some reason and didn’t even know why. He didn’t realize that his subconscious had decided to perhaps give Sentinel Ellison a try.

Blair could hardly wait to arrive home, watch some news, eat and maybe he’d have time to jack off. Ever since he had touched Sentinel Ellison, he had been hard as a rock. Maybe he and Sentinel Ellison could be like Sophia and Thomas. Very different, but could still find a life together.

He walked into his building and in front of his door was Jim Ellison. He was sweating profusely and looked as if he were dying.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But we aren’t supposed to let ourselves die and I am. Please help me?” Jim pleaded.

“Let me get the door open and we’ll see what we can do.” Blair opened it and entered with the Sentinel following. Sentinel Ellison found a nice clean apartment before him. Much like he thought he would see.

Blair looked at him and could tell he had a horrible fever. “Let’s get you into a cool bath first thing.”

Blair ran the water and Jim walked in and stripped without much thought. Blair couldn’t believe what a fine specimen Sentinel Ellison was. The only thing that came to mind was Hot Damn. He glanced at the Sentinel, hoping he didn’t say that out loud.

Jim slid into the water and found out that the cool water was not only relaxing but it was quickly bringing down his fever.

“Jim, when did you eat last?”

“Guide, I have no idea. Maybe four days ago.” Jim guessed as if he was confused.

Blair brought his dinner and some drinks in and fed Sentinel Ellison as he lay there. Blair would take one bite and then he would let the Sentinel take a bite. Thankfully, Sophia gave him extra so there was enough to fill up the larger man. Then he remembered the stuffed leaves. He ran to get them and fed those to Sentinel Ellison also.

“Thank you, Guide Sandburg.”

“Stop calling me that. It’s Blair.”

“I can’t call you some other name. It’s not allowed.” Jim reminded him.

“Then why was I just able to call you Jim?”

Blair looked over and saw Jim blush intensely. “All right, fill me in.”

“Because you’re the Alpha Male. You would be in charge.” Jim almost whispered.

“No shit?”

“No shit.” Jim smiled at him. “I take it that this idea doesn’t bother you that much.”

“If I decided to become your Guide, do I have to give up teaching?”

“Not at all. You’re encouraged to continue your life as it once was. I, on the other hand, have to change a great deal.” Jim explained.


“Because I’ll be the one having the children. So I’ll give up my job and raise them. The chances of us having Guides and Sentinels are high.”

“And what if I want you to wait to have children? Could you still work and act as you used to?” Blair wondered aloud.

“Does this mean that you’ll bond with me?” Jim asked hopefully.

“Yes, get out of the tub, dry off and come to the bedroom.” Blair discovered he might like being the boss.

When Jim entered the bedroom, Blair could see he was nervous. “Come here and don’t worry. I would never hurt you.”

“I hate changes and new things. They always frighten me. I look big and tough, but that’s just on the outside.” Jim said.

“Don’t worry, Sentinel Ellison. Or do you want me to call you Jim?” Blair asked.

“You can call me Jim. I like that. You make it sound so sensual. I’m extremely nervous.”

“Didn’t you sleep with anyone before?” Blair asked.

“Only women and none of them ever looked like you. It’s one of the rules. But you are so beautiful that I could never have found someone that looked like you anyway.”

Whoa, a sweet talker on top of everything else. Blair used lube and slicked up his fingers, sliding one in until Jim began to moan. Blair took this as an extremely good sign. He then moved two fingers in and started stretching by doing a scissors effect. Soon Jim was breathless and begging. Blair was happy with this outcome and couldn’t wait to get inside of his Sentinel.

Blair covered his cock with lube and then slid into Jim’s hole unhurriedly. Jim moaned and it wasn’t a good one. So Blair stopped and began to kiss his Sentinel during the interval. Finally Jim pushed back against Blair’s cock again and Blair pushed in some more. He took his time and made sure that Jim wouldn’t be injured. By the time he was all the way inside his Sentinel, the Guide took over. He began to pound his cock deep within, over and over again. Jim was panting harder now and howling out for release, sweat dripping down his face, letting him know how well Guide Sandburg could fuck.

Blair pulled almost all the way out and then flipped Jim over so that he could see his Sentinel's face. The Sentinel seemed to find this act most tender. Blair slid back into him and began the pounding once more. He loved watching his Sentinel's face.

“I’m going to come, Guide Sandburg.” Jim shouted.

Blair wrenched on Jim’s cock and said, “Hold it right there. We’re not going to be in bed and have you calling me Guide Sandburg. My name is Blair or whatever you want to call me. Do you understand this?”

“Yes, Blair. I understand. Can I come now?” Jim grunted.

“No, you have to say some things to me.” Blair ordered.

“You’re making me feel like no one has ever made me feel. I want to share the rest of my life with you. I would let you do anything to me.” Jim answered.

“Do you like me?”

“What?” Jim looked confused.

“Do you like me?”

“Yes, I like you very much. I’ve had a hard on since I met you years ago unknowingly to you.” Jim stated.

“Okay, I like you too and now you can come.” Blair started striking Jim’s prostate every single time. With a cry of each other’s names, they came at the very same instant.

Jim nestled into Blair’s arms and said, “I have finally discovered love. I’ve waited my whole life for you. You’re my home.”

“You’re a sweet talker, aren’t you?” Blair teased.

“Not generally.” Jim said blushing.

Blair cherished the fact that he could make this tough guy blush. “So when are you going to fuck me?”

“You’re the alpha, I’m not allowed to fuck you.” Jim explained.

Taken aback, Blair asked, “I’m never getting fucked?”

“I could arrange someone to come to our new home and fuck you if you wish it to happen.”

“I wanted you. I want you to fuck me now. What do you mean you could arrange it? You’d let someone else be inside of me?” Blair was upset.

“Blair, I’m not supposed to. And it would kill me to let you be with anyone else. But I would do it for you to make you happy.”

“Tough, fuck me.” Blair spread his legs apart and began to stroke on his own cock. The Guide handed the lube to Jim and the poor Sentinel didn’t know what to do.

He watched for a few more minutes and Blair could see Jim’s cock growing rigid and firm. “Fuck me now, Jim. Fuck me and show me who owns my ass.”

Jim growled and began to finger fuck Blair and got him good and stretched. Then he slid into Blair’s inviting little hole and heard the noises Blair was making, causing him to almost come right then. Blair had to be the sexiest person Jim had ever been with in his life. And the sounds Jim hoped he would hear were ones he prayed to hear forever.

“Who do I belong to, Jim?”

“Sentinel Ellison.” And the Sentinel went deeper and harder.

“And who do you belong to?”

“Guide Sandburg.” Jim looked down and saw the most beautiful creature on the planet and would have to thank whatever deity for giving Guide Sandburg to him.

“Do you like me, Sentinel?” Blair asked quietly.

“I love you, Guide.”

“I love you, Sentinel.” Blair was surprised that he meant it.

Blair’s orgasm overcame him suddenly and without warning. He howled Jim’s name out and Jim followed right after him, roaring Blair’s.

As he lay in Jim’s arms, Blair whispered, “I think we were supposed to bond that way. Why don’t they tell us that? I think it worked better and I went from liking you to loving you in about ten minutes. What do you think?”

“I think that I don’t care. Please don’t ever leave me. I love you very much.” Jim kissed Blair. And as Jim hugged him, he could feel Blair getting hard once more. “I’m going to be in trouble here, aren’t I?” Jim kissed his Guide as he thanked god for that.

Blair looked over at his Sentinel with his wild bedhead and knew he was totally in love. “Sentinel Ellison, this is the first day of the rest of your fucking lucky life.” Blair then smiled.

“Is that how the saying really goes?”

“Of course not. I just like to say fuck.”

Jim smiled and said, “I aim to please.” Then Jim began sucking, kissing, fucking and loving his Guide all over again.


Blair sat down at the table the next morning and said, “So what did you mean about our new home?”

“We have to move to a bonded locale now.” Jim said quickly.

“Lets just tell them that we aren’t bonded yet and we can stay here. I love my place.” Blair was whining now.

“Blair, you know that we can’t do that. First of all, they came and visited me two weeks ago and they’ll check up on me again. They’ll see how well I look and know I’m in love.”

Blair leaned in and kissed Jim softly. “I love you, Jim. I’ll move wherever we need to.”

“Maybe I could call the bonded group and ask them if we can list this place as our bonded home. I would like that too.” Jim suggested.

“While I’m at classes tomorrow, could you call them? And Jim, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m a Peace Officer. I’m in a selected group of men and women that are either Guides or Sentinels. I’ve been pretty much alone for a long time, because I can’t use another Guide. We tried that. It didn’t work. I haven’t been to work for months.”

“Jim, give me a few days and I’ll put in for a leave of absence. I’ll work with you at the station and we’ll see how that goes until we get your senses worked out.”

“Blair, you don’t know anything about Peace Officer work.” Jim was trying not to get his hopes up.

“Jim, I study people, places and possessions. Who would be more qualified than me?” Blair smiled at him and kissed him again.

“Jim, is there any special place that you would like to live? I didn’t even ask, I’m sorry.”

“My dad’s house is listed in the directory as a Bonded home. Because he had hopes for years that I would be bonded. I think he’s given up. He talked the other day about selling it to some other parents that needed one for their children.”

“It’s a nice house?”

“Beautiful house. Huge, too big for us, but not too big if we decide to have children. There are five bedrooms.” Jim had hoped he could talk him into moving there.

“Call your dad and tell him that I’m moving in today, all right?”

“I love you, Blair.” Jim stood and leaned down for another kiss and then made the phone call to his dad.


“Hi, Dad.”

“Jimmy, where have you been? I was worried sick?”

“I was busy bonding.”

“Jimmy, really? You’re not kidding an old man?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I’m moving his things over to our home today. It’s still my home too, right, Dad?”

“I’ll help you unload when you get here. Is he nice? He seems nice.”

“I’ll fill you in later.” Jim said smiling.

“Good-bye, son. I’ll see you in a while.”

Jim turned from the phone and said, “He loves you already. I can tell.”

“Yeah, right. He doesn’t even know me.” Blair walked over and began to make out with Jim once again.

Jim kissed him and then began to undress him once again. The Sentinel had found out that he loved fucking Blair. And why was he told that he couldn’t do that?

They were lying in bed again kissing and Blair said, “Jim, I’m so late for my classes. I have to leave.”

“God, I feel like I’m going to die.” Jim said mournfully.

“Jim, really it won’t be that bad.” Blair kissed him and then saw the big smile on his lover's face. “You butthead.”

“Butthead? You’re calling me a butthead?” Jim started kissing Blair from his throat down to his cock.

“Jim, I have to go to work.” Blair whined.

“So go. Who’s stopping you?” Jim taunted him.

“Could you suck me first?”

“I think I probably could.” And that’s just what Jim did. He began sucking on Blair until Blair’s head felt like it went flying across the room. Both men found out how damn excellent Sentinels are at blowjobs. As soon as Blair shot his come down Jim’s throat, Jim pushed him off the bed so he would get ready to go.

“Thanks, Jim. I love you.”

“I love you, Blair. Have a great day at school. Our new address is on the post-it on the counter in the kitchen.” Jim rolled on his side and figured he would catch a few more hours of sleep. Blair was wearing him out.

When Blair came walking through the bedroom, he went around to see if Jim was upset. He found a sleeping Sentinel that could not be ignored.

Guide Sandburg was taking charge. He called the University and told them he needed a few weeks. He informed them that he was now bonded. One nice thing about the Bonding Program was that wherever you work, they have to allow time off for the Bonding procedure. Blair was informed that he would have six months off if he felt the need, as it was called for in his file.

He got off the phone and began to undress quickly. He slid into the bed with Jim and began to kiss his neck, back and buttocks. Before long Jim was awake and Blair went to town on getting him ready.

“I’m so glad you’re here. Why didn’t you go to work?” Jim asked as he began to breathe heavily.

Sliding into Jim’s center, Blair said, “I have six months off. It’s for us to bond properly and move.”

“Oh yeah, Blair. Fuck me. Fuck me hard.”

As Blair pounded Jim’s ass over and over again, he said, “Who loves you, Sentinel Ellison?”

“Guide Sandburg. But Blair loves me even more.” Jim smiled at the change in Blair’s heart rate hearing that.

“And who loves me?”

“Sentinel Ellison loves you, but not half as much as Jim does.”

Blair howled and came. Jim loved the idea of no warning and Jim came right after his Guide.

They both slept a while and then they showered and began to pack things for the move. Jim glanced over at Blair packing up his schoolbooks and he said, “I think you should go back to work tomorrow. We’ll be together in the mornings and the evenings. You’ll be happier there.”

“Are you sure?” Blair looked almost scared.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m doing well, Blair. We’ll do well no matter what.” Jim kissed him and went to start packing the next box.

“Thanks, Jim. I would be happy there. I have a lot of friends and I need to let them know what’s going on.”

“Okay.” Jim said quietly.

“Man, am I not allowed to have friends?”

“Yes, you can have friends, Blair. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” Jim smiled over at his lover.

The two men put everything in the truck and began the trip to their new home together. When they arrived William was outside waiting, wearing a large smile.

“I told you he loves you.” Jim teased.

“Hey, Mr. Ellison. Good to see you.” Blair held out his hand to shake William’s thin hand, but William instead hugged Blair firmly.

“Welcome to your new home. Hopefully, you’ll have many children to fill it up with. I wish you and Jimmy nothing but great things.” Then he turned to the truck and got a box to carry inside.

“So your dad wants us to have children, I take it?”

“Yeah. I’ve heard about that biological clock that some people have and mine is ticking like crazy. So I guess it might be time.” Jim grabbed some boxes and started for the house.

“Well, how do we go about having one?” Blair asked, feeling foolish all of a sudden.

“I don’t know. This is new for me, too.” Jim said huffing up to the house with the heavy boxes.

Blair didn’t bring that subject up again for a while. He unpacked, got settled, went back to school and fucked his Sentinel's ass every chance he got.

Jim also went back to work and was doing well. He had perfect control even while he was away from Blair. William told him that it was because Blair helped him so much when they were together; he was set for the day. So Jim bought this logic because he liked the sound of it.


Jim was with seven Sentinels that went out on a call. There was a terrorist at the court house and they knew it was going to be a rough one. When they finally took the guy down, the terrorist had managed to take four of the Sentinels down first. It was a distressing day for the group.

When he got back to the station, his friend, Captain Simon Banks, called him into his office.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Sit down, Ellison. I’ve been awarded my own Sentinel for the Sentinel Peace Officer Department in Major Crime. So as of this moment you’re working with us. What do you think of that?” Simon looked over at him to gauge his reply.

“Sounds great, sir. I’ll go and get cleaned up and be right back. Where is my desk? And who will I be partnered with?”

“You’ll be sitting at the desk right outside my door and your partner will be in one next to that. Her name is Megan Conner. She’s from Australia and a very good cop.”

“Thank you, sir. I’m acquainted with Conner already. I get along with her fine. I’ll be back quickly.” Jim went down to the locker room and saw four cops standing there staring at him.

“Problem?” Jim asked sarcastically.

“We’ve got a problem with working with a person who lets the government tell him he’s got to take a dick up his ass.” the first one said.

“Let me clear this up for you. We are bonded by blood and need. I couldn’t bond with a woman if I wanted to. I can fuck her, but I can’t bond with her. The only way I can live my life as I should is if I take it up the ass. Now do you have a problem with that? This is really none of anyone’s business.” Jim was getting angry.

Conner walked up behind him and said, “Hey, Partner, having a dilemma?”

“No, these guys just needed to learn about Bonding.” Jim smiled and walked away.

Conner leaned in and whispered to them, “Touch him and I’ll kill you all.”

When Jim got back upstairs he sat at his desk and stared at Conner. He rolled his chair close to her desk and asked, “What was that? You can’t say you’ll kill them.”

“Jim, they’re assholes and I was making it very clear that I’m behind you 100%.”

“Don’t say it again. Next time they could be recording. I don’t want to lose my partner.” Jim smiled at her.

“Enough said. Now, maybe we should finish our paperwork and go check out that new crime scene.” Megan began typing again.

“Maybe we should go and check out the crime scene before the paper work. The paperwork will wait.” Jim stood up and waited for Conner to join him.

Conner poked her head in Simon’s office and said, “We’re off to check out the new crime scene.”

“About time, get out of here.” Simon grinned.

During the drive out to the scene, Conner asked, “So what is this crime about? Do you know yet?”

“They think it is a serial killer they’ve been looking for. He’s eluded everyone for six months and left 11 bodies behind.”

“So this guy kills people that eat cereal?”

“Conner, that is plain sick. Take it back.” Jim started laughing.

“You’re the one that said he was a cereal killer, not me.” She smiled at her partner and his good sense of humor.

They pulled up and both got out to start the search for clues. Neither was familiar with who was killed or for what; so they would be starting at square one.

As Jim parked the truck, he said, “I have a doctor’s appointment today at 4:30. Could you help me remember that?”

“Sure can. Let’s get this over with.”

Both of them walked into the building and began checking things out. They had their gloves on and were ready for business.

Jim was checking for fingerprints and hair follicles. He found many prints, which he took and put in separate bags and then would start on the next batch of clues.

Conner started asking questions about friends, family and co-workers that the man had. She had quite a list building when she looked over at Jim and saw he was taking the man’s shirt off. She rushed to his side and whispered, “What are you doing?”

“Conner, he’s a Sentinel and he’s just had a baby. I need to see if my nose is doing the proper job.” He lifted his shirt and sure enough, the victim had a scar just like a C-section. “Wouldn’t you think that someone would have noticed he was missing by now?”

“Yes, I have a list, we’ll go and talk to the wife.” Conner stood up to leave and heard Jim laughing. “What? What did I say?”

“He had the baby. It can’t be a wife. It has to be a male Guide.”

“Oh. See I wouldn’t have even thought of that. Thanks for teaching me these things.” Conner pulled Jim up and they went to the truck.

“What do you think about this so far?” Conner asked.

“I don’t want to think it’s his Guide. That would be past horrible. I’m incapable of hurting Blair, as he is of me. So I’m thinking someone wanted the baby. But wouldn’t there be easier ways to have a baby? Or adopt a baby?” Jim asked Conner.

They arrived at the home of the Guide and the two of them knocked on the door. A very sad man answered, with red swollen eyes. Jim knew right away that this was the Guide and he was mourning his other half.

“Come in, you must be here to ask questions. I’m David Lane.”

They walked in and Conner said, “I’m Inspector Megan Conner and this is Detective Jim Ellison. We’re so sorry for your loss. Do you mind if we sit down somewhere and talk?”

“Follow me.” He led them into a very comfortable room. He sat down and pointed to chairs for them to sit.

Megan asked, “We need to know your whereabouts between the hours of 7:00 p.m. and today.”

David filled them in on his schedule and both cops knew David wasn’t the one.

Jim sat and said, “We need to know if anyone asked about your baby.”

“What do you mean, asked about our baby? The baby is alive?” David began to sob quietly.

“We didn’t find the baby at all, David.” Jim explained.

“You mean that someone might have killed my lover just to take our baby? Oh my god. This is beyond belief. We tried for four years to have that child. It was a little boy. I have ultrasound pictures of him, if that would help.” David was still crying and Jim and Conner didn’t know what to do.

“We can use all of the help we could get. This isn’t the first Sentinel that it’s happened to. We’ve got to find out some more from his work and friends.” Jim said. “Could you please have copies of his medical records sent to me at station 12?”

“Yes, I have a feeling that you’ll try and find my son for me. Thank you.” David stood up and walked them to the doorway.


When they finally left Jim said, “Shit, can you go to the doctor with me?”

“Sure. I’ll work on some of the notes while you’re seeing him.”

“Thank you, Conner.”

While in the waiting room Conner was able to type in quite a bit on her laptop. She was keeping herself quite busy and didn’t even wonder why Jim was there.

Jim sat nervously on the examining table and waited for the Doctor.

“Hello, Jim. I’m Doctor Gray. What can I do for you today?”

“Good to meet you, sir. My Guide and I would like to have a child soon and I need to find out what I do.” Jim was almost shaking. “Other than the obvious.”

“Don’t be so nervous, Jim. First of all, there is nothing to do. All Sentinels are born with a special pouch in their abdomen. After bonding many times, the sperm then goes up a special channel and joins with your cells in your abdomen. Once you become pregnant and deliver, you can’t carry a child for two years. So, if you and your Guide have been doing it, chances are you might already be pregnant.”

“Is there a test?” Jim asked looking very pale.

“Yes, I’ll do it now and we’ll know in about ten minutes.” Doctor Gray walked out into the hallway and collected his testing kits and walked back into the room.

Once the test was done, Jim waited nervously and finally Doctor Gray said, “You’re pregnant.”

“Oh god. We didn’t actually discuss it that much. Shit…”

“Things will be fine. Tell him after dinner.”

“Thank you, Doctor. When do I see you next?”

“In one month. You’ll carry this child for six to seven months at the most. So we’ll be watching for problems.”

“See you in a month.” Jim walked shakily out to the front and made his next appointment. When they got in the truck Conner looked over at him and said, “Holy shit. You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”


“Big talker today?” Conner laughed.

“Blair is going to be displeased. We had only discussed it, not decided.” Sighing Jim drove towards the station.

“Everything will be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, Partner.” Jim smiled this time.


While Jim and Conner were working late at the station trying to figure out what they had so far, an old mentor approached Blair at the University.

“Eli, I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Blair, my dear boy. It’s so good to see you. I’ve put your name in the hat for the expedition going to South America. I know you’re newly bonded, but it’s a short expedition this time. It’s only four to five months. Interested?”

“Interested? Of course I am. But I would have to talk to Jim about it.” Blair was practically bouncing where he stood.

“Go home and ask. They will be letting you know tomorrow. Have a good night, my dear boy.” Eli walked out of the office leaving a stunned but worried Blair Sandburg.

Eli called Jim at the station. “Ellison.”

“Jim Ellison? Married to Blair Sandburg?”

“Yes, who is this?”

“I’m a mentor of his from the College. He’s been chosen for a four to five month expedition and when I told him about it, he was ecstatic. Then he remembered he had you waiting at home and became discontented. He knew you wouldn’t like him leaving and has already made up his mind to turn it down. Chances are he won’t even tell you about it. But I think you should know that Blair has been waiting all of his life for one of these to come up.”

“Well, if it’s his job, then he must go.” Jim said sadly.

“He won’t just go because it’s his job. The only way he’ll go is if you tell him you want him to go.”

“I’ll think on it, Sir. It was nice talking to you.” Jim hung the phone up and felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach.

They finished up their paperwork and both left at the same time.

“Everything all right, Ellison?”


“What happened? Was it the phone call? Let’s go for coffee and you can tell me what it is.” Megan was pushing him to her car now.

“Okay, I need to talk to someone. I have no friends, other than Blair.” Jim got in and put his seat belt on.

“Well, you do now. We’ll go right to the diner down the road and relax and talk.”

“Thanks, Conner.”

“You’re welcome.”

While they were driving down there, Blair had arrived home dying to tell Jim his news.

William met him at the door and gave him a quick hug. “Jim’s not home yet. Must be working.”

“I’ll give him a call, William.” Blair was in such a good mood.

Blair walked to the phone and called the station. “Brown.”

“Detective Brown, could you tell me if Jim Ellison is still working?”

“Is this Mr. Sandburg?”

“Yes, it is.”

“He left quite some time ago, but Rafe said that he left his truck here and went somewhere with his new partner. Do you want me to call him?”

“No. I’ll talk to him later.” Blair hung up totally depressed.

“Blair, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Keep that in mind.” William pulled Blair into the dining room and pushed him down into his seat.

“It smells good, William. You take very good care of us.”

“I can’t take credit for this. Sally is in the kitchen.”

“Tell her to grab a plate and eat with us. Okay?” Blair was cheering up.

So the three of them ate the meal and Blair began to tell William all about the offer he received.

“Blair, that might be where he is. He’s quite taken with you and won’t want to let you go.” William hoped that this would help.

“William, he doesn’t know yet.”

“Oh. Well, he might be working a case. They do have a serial case going.”

“I bet that’s where he is.” Blair said as he began to help clean up the table.


Conner sat down in the booth across from Jim and said, “Shoot.”

Jim began to tell her all about the call from Eli and everything that Blair was offered. Then he sat back and waited for comments.

“First of all, Jim, I think it sucks that Eli called you. What an asshole. Blair should have been the one to tell you and no one else. But if you know that Blair wants this, you have to step back and let him go.”

“What if he finds someone in South America and falls in love?” Jim looked so miserable.

“He won’t. He’ll be just like you. Pining for his love the entire time. Not to worry, mate.” Conner patted Jim’s hand and they talked about the case.

“I know that this sounds odd, but tomorrow we should start talking to the special doctor’s for Sentinels. I get a bad feeling about the baby being missing. We’ll look at the other files and see if they had missing ones too.” Jim suggested.

“Sounds good to me. I better get you back to your truck so you can get home.”


While Jim was driving his truck home he kept smiling at the thought of seeing his love. You have it so bad, Ellison.

Jim picked up his phone and called the medical examiner and waited for him to answer.

“Dan Wolfe.”

“Hi, Dan. It’s Jim Ellison. Could you tell me if those other Sentinels that were killed were pregnant, or missing a fetus?”

“I can tell you already. They all had been pregnant and all of them had no babies. I kept telling that jerk in homicide that someone was taking these babies right out of the Sentinels. And they didn’t do it nicely. They kept the Sentinel alive just long enough to give birth and then they killed them. I’m saying they, because they all had multiple bruises on their necks, shoulders arms and legs. We’ve got some sick motherfuckers running loose.”

“Thanks, Dan. I owe you lunch this week. Talk to you later.” Jim felt somewhat better after talking to Dan. He pulled into the driveway and began smiling again.


When he walked in the door William was scowling at him. “What?” Jim asked.

“Blair has been worried sick and he’s upset. He’s been upstairs for the last hour and seems out of sorts. Don’t fuck this up, Jimmy.” William walked up the stairs towards his room.

Jim followed him and walked into their room. Blair was in bed, covered up and Jim could smell the fear on him.

Jim washed up and got undressed before he slid into bed with his mate.

He began to kiss Blair’s neck and back and Blair said, “Stop it.”

Jim did and pulled him into his arms. “Did you think I was with someone tonight?”

“Yes.” came the almost silent whisper.

“Blair, I love you more than anything. I never want anyone other than you.”

“I love you, too. I was just being stupid.”

“Actually, you weren’t. I should have called. Conner and I went for coffee to discuss the serial murder case. We’ve been put in charge.” Jim explained.

“That’s what your dad said. I should have listened.” Blair moved in closer to Jim.

“That can wait. How was your day today?” Jim had to get it out in the open.

“It was fine. I was offered something that I can’t take, but it was nice to know they wanted me.”

“Why can’t you take it, Blair?”

“It’s four to five months in South America. I can’t leave you for that long.” Blair sounded right on the verge of crying.

“Blair, do you trust me? Or do you think you have to stay here to watch me?”

“I trust you. I love you so much.”

“Well, then I think you should do it. It will mean so much to you and think about all the things you’ll have to tell me when you get home.”

“You mean it, Jim?”

“I mean it. I love you, baby.” Now Jim pulled him towards him and got down to business. Before long William could hear the sensual noises coming from their room and knew everything would be all right.


The next morning Blair was making coffee when William walked in. “Good Morning, William.”

“Good Morning, Blair. How did you sleep?”

“I slept great. And guess what? Jim thinks I should take the expedition. So I’m going to accept it today if they offer it for sure.”

“Jim told you to take it?” William was surprised.

“He’ll be all right until I come back, right?” Suddenly Blair was worried.

Jim walked in and kissed him. “I’ll be fine. I don’t need you here like I did before we bonded. It’s different now. You need to do this and I need to let you. All right?”

“I love you, man.” Blair reached up for another kiss and William watched the two of them and realized his son was a colossal liar. He was going to be lost without his Guide. He’ll hear about this later.

Both men went to work and made their plans. Jim had to plan a leave of absence because of the pregnancy. He didn’t need to take it yet, but the station liked to be warned ahead of time. Blair had to spend his day making his travel plans to South America.

As Jim sat in Simon’s office he was thinking about how upset Blair would be if he didn’t tell him. “Simon, can I ask you something?”


“If your wife was pregnant but you didn’t know and you had a chance to go somewhere for work for five months or so, would you want her to tell you?” Jim stared at his boss hopefully.

“Jim, tell him. He’ll still be able to go to South America. But he needs to know that you have friends and family here to help you in any way.” Simon stood up and opened his door. “In fact, take him to lunch right now.”

“Thank you, Simon.” Jim smiled all the way to his desk.

“So have I lost my active partner?” Conner asked.

“Not for awhile. I can’t go out in the field after my fourth month, but I’ll still be here every day. Simon didn’t want to lose my abilities in the field either. So you’re stuck with me, Conner.”

“You look really happy, what’s going on?”

“I’m going to tell Blair that we’re having a baby. And then pray he doesn’t offer to stay home. I would be too tempted.” Jim picked up his phone and dialed.


“Hi. How do you feel about lunch?”

“Who is this?” Blair then laughed enthusiastically across the line.

“How about Golden Dragon in an hour? I’ll pick you up.”

“See you then. I love you.”

“I love you, Blair.” Then Jim hung the phone up.


Jim had some time to kill and decided to actually do some Peace Officer work. He grabbed Conner and they went out to question some doctor’s.

Dr. Miller’s office was first and they walked in. The secretary asked, “Can I help you?”

Conner pulled her badge out and said, “We’re with the Peace Officer’s Department. We need to ask him some questions about Sentinel Mitchell.”

“Have a seat and I’ll see when he can talk to you.” She walked down the hallway and both Jim and Conner stayed standing.

“Come with me. Doctor Miller will see you now.”

They walked into the doctor’s office and stood. “Please, sit.” Doctor Miller said.

“We’re sorry to bother you, but we’ve got an investigation going for murdered Sentinels and kidnapped babies. Do you remember Sentinel Mitchell?” Jim asked.

“Yes, I remember him well. I saw him one week before he was killed. He was doing well and the baby girl was healthy also. I needed to tell the Sentinel about the doctor that would be on call for me. I took the month off, and that’s why I was hard to reach.”

“Do you remember the name of the doctor?” Jim asked.

“I always use the same on-call doctor. His name is Doctor Matthew Gray.”

“Did you ask him about Sentinel Mitchell when you got back?” Conner asked.

“Yes, and he faxed me a copy of the report from the last visit.” Doctor Miller said.

“Okay, that’s all for today. Thank you for you time.” Jim stood up and felt a little queasy, but it passed quickly.

Driving over to the next office, Conner asked, “So who is this one?”

“Doctor Pressman’s office.” Jim answered. “He was Sentinel Benson’s doctor.”

“Good, maybe we’ll catch a break with this one.” Conner jumped out of the truck when Jim parked and had to almost sprint to keep up with him.

They walked into this office and waited for the secretary to notice them. She said, “Can I help you?”

“We’re Peace Officers and we’re here to talk to him about the murder of one of his patients.” Jim said quietly.

“I’ll go and see if he can see you now.”

She came back to the doorway five minutes later and said, “Follow me.”

This time, both Jim and Conner sat down while they waited for this doctor.

When he walked in, they both stood and introduced themselves.

“So, Officers, what can I do to help?” Doctor Pressman asked.

“Sir, you were Sentinel Benson’s doctor. Is this correct?” Jim asked.

“Yes, I was his doctor. He was doing well when he came in for his last visit. Then I went on a vacation with my family and when we returned I was informed by the station house that he had been murdered.”

“Doctor Pressman, do you recall who was on call?”

“Of course. I use the same man every time. His name is Doctor Matthew Gray.”

Jim felt a shiver go up his spine when he heard his doctor's name a second time.

“I need you to do me a favor, Doctor. Can you think back to anytime when you lost a Sentinel and his baby, or just a Sentinel with his baby missing?” Jim was trying to stay calm.

“As a matter of fact, I do remember three. I can get their files because I was thinking of taking them to the Sentinel Sector. Here they are. They might help. And the on-call Doctor was Doctor Gray, again.”

“Thank you, Doctor, this will help us a great deal.” Conner stood to leave and shook his hand.

The doctor shook Jim’s hand and said, “He’s your doctor?”

“Yes, he is. I just went yesterday.” Jim started out of the room.

“Here is my card, Sentinel Ellison. It’s safe here.”

Jim smiled and walked out of the building.

“We’ll get Brown, Rafe and Taggert to make some calls and see how many doctor’s had the same thing happen to their patients.” Conner suggested.

“Good idea. I’m going to take Blair to lunch, so I’ll leave this in your hands for right now.” Jim was glad he had an excellent partner.


Blair came walking out of the University with a big smile on his face and it got bigger when he saw his mate waiting in the truck.

“Hey man, how are you?” Blair got in and kissed him.

“I’m great. We got a break in the case and maybe we can figure this all out.”

“Good. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” Blair asked.

“No, I have something to talk to you about before the trip. I want you to swear to me that you won’t put the trip off because of it.” Jim was still in the parking lot. He didn’t want to drive while talking to Blair.

“Oh my god. You’re pregnant. Aren’t you?” Blair had a huge smile on his face.

“Yes, I am. But you have plenty of time for this expedition and I don’t want you staying because of me.” Jim wanted that understood.

“I’ll think on it. Jim, this is so great. We’re going to have a walking, talking part of you and me soon. How soon?”

“The doctor said six to seven months is the usual. You’ll be back by then.” Jim looked over and found a very happy lover.

“Did you think I was going to be mad?” Blair asked.

“Yeah. I figured you would think I was trying to stop your life by tricking you into staying.”

“Never. You’re too good a man for that. I love you, Jim.”

“And I love you. Now would you like to tell me where we’re having lunch?” Jim smiled the entire time he asked.

“You told me Golden Dragon. Now be quick about it.” Blair smiled.

As Jim drove they were holding hands and sharing love in the only way you can while you’re driving a car.

“Do we have any names chosen?” Blair teased.

“What do you think of strong names? Like Jefferson or Jackson for a boy?”

“Jim, I love both of those, but Jefferson Ellison has too much son in it. What do you think of the name Seth? Strong enough?” Blair asked.

“I like that a lot, Blair. It sounds very nice. What do you think of Seth Jacob?” Jim was suddenly excited.

“Nice thought, big man, but I like Seth William. What do you think of that?” Blair watched his lover's face and was pleased when he saw the smile.

“My dad will be so proud.”

“Let’s not forget it could be a girl.” Blair almost whispered.

Jim kissed him and said, “What type of names do you like for a girl?”

“Hey, I picked the boy name, you pick out the girl name.”

“Well, I have some favorites in mind but you might not like them at all.” Jim said quietly.

“Hit me.”

“What?” A shocked Sentinel answered.

“Jim, I was joking. I meant hit me with your best shot. Your best name, you doofus.”

“Oh sorry. Well, I love the name Justina or Justine. Then I love, Mallory and Carson.”

“Well, here is what I think. Justine is my favorite, or maybe Mallory. Mal would be really cute. They’re wonderful. And there is no son in there at all. If we go with Mallory, her middle name could be Willa. What do you think?”

“I don’t care for that middle name. But Mallory is my favorite name. How about Mallory Sandburg Ellison?”

“You mean it? I love that. I hope we have a little girl. I’ve always wanted one.” Blair was getting excited too.

“And what if we have a boy?” Jim wondered aloud.

“I’ll be thrilled with a boy, also. Doesn’t matter to me. But I have a quick question. Could we use Seth William Sandburg Ellison for him?”

“We sure can.” Jim kissed Blair once again.

“And you’re certain that I can leave you and nothing will happen?”

“Blair, something could happen at any time. But know that I’ll be careful. I have friends and family here to help me. Don’t worry. I promise.”

“In that case, let’s get in there and eat.” The two men walked in hand in hand and had a great meal.

Jim got the waitresses attention and she came over to the table. “What can I get you fellows?”

“I want to order some things to go. How long will it take?”

She smiled and said, “It won’t take long at all. What do you need?”

“Thank you, Melanie.” Jim then rattled off a huge list and Blair just stared at him. Once Melanie had left Blair asked Jim, “Who is this for?”

“Everyone at the station. They all stayed to work on the case so that I could talk to you. I wanted to get them lunch.”

“They all know already?”

“Simon and Conner are the only two that know.” Jim answered. “But soon everyone will, Blair.”

“That’s fine. Man, I love you. I’m going to be lost in South America.”

“Well, we would all be. We’re not from there.” Jim teased.

“I’m going to make you pay for that tonight, Sentinel Ellison.” Blair used his sexy voice that made Jim shiver.

“I can’t wait.” Then Jim looked up to see Melanie come up to the table with the second ticket and a huge bag of food.

“Tell the guys at the station we wish them well.” Melanie started to take off when Blair said, “Melanie, can I talk to you for a moment?”


“You know Jim well, right?” Blair asked.

“Sure do. Why?”

“I’m leaving the country for four or five months and I need someone to watch out for him while I’m away.”

“I would be happy to watch him. Jim, want to come live with me for the four months?” By this time she was laughing up a storm.

“I hope you’re happy, Blair.” Jim got up and walked out of the dining area and paid their bills.

“He’s not mad. He’s sad. He’s also pregnant. I would like you to be sure that no woman makes a move on him.”

“You got it, Blair. Now go and take care of him.”

Thanks, Mel.” Little did Jim know, Blair had known Mel since they were children. They grew up in the same neighborhood.

When Blair got out to the parking lot, there was no truck. Blair looked around for a while and then began to get very pissed off. He pulled out his cell and called a cab.


Blair paid the fare and stormed into his office slamming the door behind him. He picked up the phone and called the station.


“Conner, this is Sandburg. Tell me where Jim is.”

“Sandburg, don’t call and tell me what to do. I don’t know where he is anyway. He got a call and went out on it with Simon.”

“I’m sorry, Conner. Jim left me hanging at the diner and I had to take a cab. It’s not your fault. It’s the big jerk’s fault.”

“Well, he was really upset when he got here so don’t start off your talk with, hey you, big jerk. It won’t go far at all.” Conner was trying to head Blair off at the pass.

“Thanks for the advice. I’ll calm down and call him later. Have a good day, Conner.”

Blair started grading papers and before long Sean came in and said, “How is married life.”

Blair snarled and kept doing his work.

“Whoa, you two already had a fight? That’s a record.” Sean was laughing.

Eli walked in and asked, “Can you be ready to go by morning?”

“Yes. We’re leaving tomorrow? Hot damn.” Blair hugged Eli and then Sean and said, “Where are my tickets?”

“I’ll carry them for everyone. Be at the airport by 6:00 a.m. I need to go get some things done before I leave. I suggest you do the same.” Eli walked out the door and Blair started bouncing.

“Someone’s excited. That’s great. So Jim knows, right?”

“I wouldn’t care anyhow. He’s an ass.” Blair grabbed his things and started to lock up.

“Blair, you have to make it right. He’ll miss you something fierce. I know I will and we’re not bonded.” Sean hugged him and took off before he lost control of his emotions.

Blair went right home and started packing. He was in the middle of it and Jim came into the room and stared at him. “So you’re moving?”

“No, I’m not moving. I’m going to South America. We’re leaving tomorrow at 6:00 a.m.” Blair again was bouncing.

“Oh.” Jim was unusually quiet.

“Sit while I pack and tell me what happened with the case today.” Blair knew he needed to change the subject.

“Simon and I went to see the other doctor’s and found out that they were all gone when their patients died too. They also had the same Doctor Gray for their on-call doctor. So Simon and I got a hold of the DA and we all went to see Judge Webster and he gave us three warrants to serve. We had one for his office, one for his home and one for his boat. We then called in the troops and split everyone up. We didn’t want this man to know anything ahead of time. So, when his house was being served, so were the boat and the office. It worked out well.”

“So you got your man?” Blair was shocked.

“Not exactly. We got him yes, but the adoptive parents of the Sentinels were in on it. They found the men carrying the baby that they wanted and told the doctor. We then had to get 27 more warrants and serve them on those people. Thank god, Doctor Gray kept good records. He’s going away for a very long time and won’t ever see the light of day.”

“Congratulations, man. That’s a good three days work. You and Conner are working out?” Blair sounded just a little bit unsure of himself.

“Yeah, she’s great. You’ll like her too.” Jim got up off the bed and was leaving the room.



“Are you so angry that you don’t love me anymore?” Blair was looking at the floor.

Jim walked over to him and lifted Blair’s chin with his fingers. He rubbed his Guide's chin and said, “I would never stop loving you.”

Blair went into Jim’s arms and held on very tight. “I’m sorry, Jim.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“For asking my friend Mel to keep an eye out on you while I’m gone.” Blair began sniffing and Jim wouldn’t allow this to be a crying session.

“I didn’t know she was a friend of yours. Actually I thought you were flirting with her today and then when you asked that, I was really hurt.”

“I’m so sorry. I promise to talk to you about things from now on. And I’m sorry that I’m up here packing without telling you about it. I’m sorry I’m going to South America and I can’t stand the idea of leaving you.” Now Blair was crying softly.

“I want you to make love to me, Blair. I need it. I want to remember it for the next four months.” Jim kissed his mate and then began to undress him. Once they were both naked, the lovemaking got downright serious. Blair intended on making Jim remember this night forever. As he fucked him, he told Jim how much he meant to him. He told him how much he would miss him and then he told him how empty his life would be for four months. Jim came with a roar, taking Blair right along with him.

“You can sweet talk better than anyone.” Jim kissed his love.

“You’re going to help me pack, then we’ll eat and then we’re going to bed early. You’re going to make me remember you for the next four months.”

And that’s what they did, all night long. William couldn’t help but hear them over and over again. He kept smiling knowing that they needed this, seeing they would be separated for four months.

The alarm went off at 4:00 a.m. and Blair began to cry. Jim reached over and shut it off and took Blair into his arms.

“Blair, you have to be strong. You need to shower and get dressed so you’ll be on time. You can do this.” Jim pushed him out of the bed.

Jim could hear him crying his heart out in the shower. Jim wanted to join in, but someone had to be strong right now. He could lose it tonight. Maybe his dad would baby him a little.

Jim got dressed and loaded everything in the truck. When he got back inside William was standing there looking sad.

“I heard him crying. It upset me.”

“Dad, go back in your room. He’ll be more upset if he knows that you heard him. Please?” Jim asked.

Jim drove Blair to the airport listening to Blair’s little hiccuping sounds. It was breaking his heart. “Can I call you Chief?”

Blair looked over and said, “Why?”

“Because when I see you, I see the man that is in charge of everything in my life. You’re my Chief.”

Blair moved next to Jim and began to kiss his neck softly and whispered, “I love it. It’s perfect.”

“Just like you.” Jim parked in the parking lot and said, “I’m not going in with you. It would be too traumatic for both of us. So we’re going to say goodbye out here.” Jim stepped out of the truck and got Blair’s things and set them on the ground next to his love.

Blair went into Jim’s arms and didn’t cry, but was shaking like crazy. “Jim, I love you so much. You’ll never know how much this means to me. But I’m afraid that I’m going to have to pay too much for the privilege.”

“Chief, it’ll be fine. This time will fly by and when you get home it’ll almost be time to become a daddy. Have a great expedition. Be safe, be well and be mine.” Jim kissed him and turned towards the truck.

Blair knew that Jim was on the verge of losing it, so he walked into the airport and was attacked by all of the other professors there and Eli hugged him.


The drive back to the station was a nightmare. Jim felt like he was breaking in two. He wanted to go and get his Guide so badly. But he also wanted his Guide to have a life outside of him. When he walked into the bullpen, he was surprised to see it full of Detectives and they sat him down and served him hot coffee and donuts. Jim smiled thinking about what nice friends he had made over the years.

“Doing okay, Partner?” Conner asked softly.

“Great now. You planned this, didn’t you?”

“Actually, it was Simon and I both. We knew it was going to be hard. You know where I am.” Conner sat at her desk.

“Oh my god, you’re right over there.” Jim laughed and so did Conner.

The day flew by for him and he realized that time would go quickly.


On the plane everyone was handed some information to review before they got there. Blair couldn’t wait. He started to read.

By Adam Kittelson & Amy Stafford

Location: Amazon rainforests of Brazil and Venezuela.

I have always wanted to go to Brazil or Venezuela.

;History: The Yanomamö people of Central Brazil are one of the oldest examples of the classic pre-Columbian forest footmen. The Yanomamö live in almost complete
seclusion in the Amazon rain forests of South America and, according to many anthropologists, are perhaps the last culture to have come in contact with the modern world.

Oh goody. Someone we’ll have to really work with. I like a challenge.

Language: Yanomamö -various dialects. No written language.

It won’t take me too long to figure out what they’re saying. I love languages.

Daily Life: The Yanomamö live in small bands or tribes and live in round communal huts called shabonos, which are actually made up of individual living quarters. Clothes are minimal, and much of their daily life revolves around gardening, hunting, gathering, making crafts and visiting with one another.

I wonder how they will take to our tents and our clothing. We might have to go naked also. Self, make a note about going naked with the tribes.

These small tribes hold their men in high ranks. Chiefs are always men who are held responsible for the general knowledge and safety of the group’s women. The men are able to beat their wives if they feel the need to and are able to marry more than one woman at a time. This loose form of polygamy is a way of increasing the population of the tribe.

Self, keep your mouth shut. This is their way, not yours.

Yanomamö people rely heavily on a system of political alliances based upon kinship. As part of that system, they have incorporated an intricate feasting and trading system into their culture. The Yanomamö live in a constant state of warfare with other tribes and even within their own groups.

This is sounding more fun by the moment. Self, make sure and smack Eli when you get him alone.

Marriages are often arranged according to performances of one's relatives in battles. Ideal marriages are thought to consist of cross cousin marriages and the males of the family and the religious leaders of the tribe perform all marriages. In addition to their strong kinship ties, political alliances and thirst for revenge, the Yanomamö have a detailed religion, based on the use of hallucinogenic drugs and the telling of mythical tales.

Now they’re talking. I want to do drugs. He began to almost giggle and everyone on the plane looked at him like he had lost it.

Eli walked up to him and whispered, “You just read about the hallucinogenic drugs didn’t you?”

Laughing, Blair said, “Am I that transparent?”

“Yes. Continue reading and enjoy learning about them. There is more coming.” Eli walked back to his seat with a smile on his face.

The religious beliefs of the Yanomamö are quite complex. According to Yanomamö wise men, there are four levels of reality. Through them, the Yanomamö believe that things tend to fall or descend downward to a lower layer is demonstrate.

The uppermost layer of the four is thought to be "pristine" and "tender". It is called "duku ka misi" and the Yanomamö believe that many things originated in this area. This layer does not play much of a role in the everyday life of the Yanomamö. It is considered to be just "there", once having some vague function.

The next layer down is called "hedu ka misi" and is known as the sky layer. The top surface is supposedly invisible, but is believed to be similar to earth. It has trees, gardens, villages, animals, plants and most importantly, the souls of the deceased. These souls are said to be similar to mortals because they garden, eat and sleep. Everything that exists on earth is said to have a counterpart on this level.

The bottom surface of the layer is said to be what the Yanomamö on earth actually see: the visible sky. Stars and planets are attached to this bottom surface and move across it on their individual trails.

Humans, or Yanomamö, dwell on what is called "this layer", otherwise called "hei ka misi". "This layer" was created when a chunk of hedu broke off and fell down. This layer has jungles, hills, animals, plants and people who are slightly different, variants of the Yanomamö who speak a dialect of Yanomamö that is "crooked", or wrong.

Finally, there is the surface below "this layer" which is formally called "hei ta bebi", which the Yanomamö say is almost barren. They believe a variant of the Yanomamö live here. These people originated a long time ago when a piece of hedu broke off, crashed down to "this layer", creating a hole and eventually falling through to become it's own layer. Here, they have no game animals and have ruthless cannibals. They send their spirits up to "this layer" to capture the souls of children, which are carried down and eaten. In some Yanomamo villages, the shamans contend with the people on the bottom layer, attempting to discourage their cannibalistic ways.

Holy crap.

In recent years, the influence of gold miners, lumber companies and missions have altered traditional Yanomamö life. Some Yanomamö have become fluent in Spanish and have become Christians. Others have developed relationships with miners or lumberjacks and have entered the cash economy. The introduction of rifles and other western devices have influenced the way the Yanomamö live. Western diseases and medical methods have made the Yanomamö dependant on missions to survive.

Best Known Features: The work of Napoleon Chagnon has made the Yanomamö a common topic in anthropology classrooms around the world. Much of the activism which revolves around saving the indigenous peoples of the Amazon had its root in studies on the Yanomamö.

Chagnon, Napoleon. Yanomamö, Fifth Edition. Harcourt Brace College Publishers:
Fort Worth 1997.

Blair realized that this was going to be a fucking exciting trip. He couldn’t wait to start. One of the things Blair had excelled in while in college was language. But they were written ones. So now he was going to have to figure this language out from scratch. Blair felt as if there was a cloud of electricity above his head, giving him feel more of a spark than usual.

As the flight continued Blair started to miss Jim something fierce. He wanted to be here, but he didn’t want to be separated from his life mate. The young Anthropologist became as blue as the sky.

Eli sat next to him and said, “Are you missing your man, dear boy?”

“Yes.” Blair said quietly.

“I know this is hard, but it’s going to be worth it. Blair, you are going to excel in all you do here.”

“Thank you, Eli. Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.” Eli answered.

“Jim is pregnant. And I feel like I deserted him. He really pushed me to go. He thought it was what I needed. But what if what I need is Jim and our child?”

“First of all, Congratulations. Let’s let the trip get on the road first before we start second guessing it. If you’re miserable after a few weeks, then you can leave and go home.” Eli offered.

“Thanks. I’ll try my best.”

“I know you will, dear boy.” Eli got up and moved back to his seat again.


Every day would get easier. Jim kept telling himself that all day long. This was the first day and he was already so lonely he could hardly stand it.

“Hey, Partner. How are you feeling?” Conner asked handing Jim a cup of coffee.

“This is good, Conner. Thank you. I’m all right. Feeling sorry for myself is all.”

“You’re allowed to. He’s your mate. Anytime you need someone to hold you in bed, call me.”

Jim looked over at her oddly and said, “I don’t think Blair would understand.”

“You’re kidding, right? Blair knows how you feel about him. He’s not going to be jealous of me.”

“You don’t know Blair. He wouldn’t like anyone around me when it would come to the bedroom.” Jim had that lost look on his face again.

Jim and Conner got called out on a crime scene and were there all day long. At the end of the day, they did the paperwork and left for home. Driving to his house, Jim realized he hadn’t thought about Blair once all day while working the crime scene. So he was going to try and do as many scenes as he could while Blair was gone. He also realized he loved Megan Conner. She was a fantastic partner.

When he went to bed that night he had sweet dreams of Blair and their baby.

~~~South America~~~

They all got to ride horses and donkeys into the camps. Vehicles weren’t allowed. They would scare the tribe. The first thing they all found out was no one wore clothing.

Blair looked at everyone and said, “When in Rome, do as the Roman’s do.” Blair shed his clothing quickly and started to get acquainted with some of the tribesmen.

Everyone in the group was soon naked and feeling all right about it. Even Eli was fitting in.

Blair concentrated on the language. He had a pad and pencil and took notes while he tried to figure out a few words. Five days later, he rejoined the group and said, “I’m able to talk to the tribe. It’s very difficult, but it’ll get easier.”

“Blair, that’s wonderful. I’m so proud of you. While you were doing that, we’ve been checking out the rest of the village, the gardening, the hunting and what they hunt with, the trading system and signs of warfare. What have you discovered other than the language?” Eli asked.

“Well, they made me sit down three times a day to elaborate feasting and I swear, I’m going to be bigger than Jim when I go home. They’ve introduced me to their mythical tales every evening and also had me try their hallucinogenic drugs. What a friggin' rush.” Blair couldn’t get all this out fast enough. “Oh and here is the best part. They have Sentinels and Guides here. I showed them a picture of Jim and they all ooohed and aaahed over it and the Chief said, “Nadti.” I figured out this meant Guardian. So then I asked where their Nadti were and they all became sad. Seems like they’ve lost their Sentinels. They have 15 Guides and no Sentinels. They asked me to help them. I didn’t know what to say.”

Eli said, “We’ve got numerous Sentinels at the University that lost their Guides. Maybe we could contract some to come here.”

“You’re serious?” Blair asked. “Male ones would be best, I think.”

“Very serious. Those Sentinels need their Guides. So I’ll send word tomorrow and we’ll see what happens.” Eli then looked at everyone to see if they had more to discuss.

One person couldn’t hold it back anymore and asked, “What happened when you took the drug?”

“Bob, it was like nothing I’ve ever done before. I saw an Indian spirit and he talked to me about Jim and I. It was just freaky. But exciting.” Blair said before he lay back to rest.

“Let’s all decide where we’re going tomorrow and what we’ll be doing.” Eli took a notepad out and got ready to write.

“Eli, if it’s all right, I’m going to stay with the tribe for about a month. They have asked me to stay with them. They also want someone to hunt, and someone else to learn their language.” Blair asked.

“How about Bob and Maria? She can have the hunting part and Bob can do the language.” Eli suggested.

“Sorry, it has to be two males. Women are treated as less than equals here. So, maybe Bob and Marcus?” Blair asked.

“Bob and Marcus it is. Have a productive week. Blair, you stay for the month and keep notes on all of it.” Eli stood up to leave and everyone wished him well. He was so proud of how Blair was doing. He was just taking over as Eli had hoped he would.


For the next month, Jim tried to make time go as fast as he could. Some nights it didn’t work and he lay in bed so alone, he could yell. He was beginning to show and that excited him. His belly took on a nice round appearance. Every single night he would rub it and tell the babies about their other Daddy.

There was a knock on the door and Jim said, “Come on in, Dad.”

His Father looked at Jim’s swollen belly and asked, “Aren’t you a little big for two months?”

“I think so. But I think I can hear two heartbeats. I might not carry them as long as normal.” Jim sounded sad.

“Maybe we should let Blair know.”

“No!” Jim shouted quickly. “I don’t want to interfere with his job at all. Promise me, Dad?”

“Fine. I think it’s selfish on your part. He’s going to be upset if he comes home and he missed the birth.” William sat on the bed and just stared at Jim.


“Well, I have to ask you something and I don’t want you getting all crazy on me.” William wasn’t sure he should even ask.

“So ask.”

“Sally said she saw you at a restaurant today with a woman. She said that you and said woman were hugging. Is there something going on?”

Jim burst out laughing. “She was hugging me because I was being a wuss today. I missed Blair and almost lost it. So she hugged me. That’s Megan Conner we’re talking about, she’s my partner at work and my best friend.”

“Oh thank god. I’m so relieved. Because we love Blair to death.” William got up to leave.

“Hey, Dad? How about you lay on the bed with me and we watch some television?” Jim asked quietly.

“Sure. That would be nice. There is that learning channel special on tonight. Want to see that?” William lay on top of the covers and began to channel surf.

“Whatever you want, Dad.” Jim was sound asleep within ten minutes. William slept with him that night so he wouldn’t wake him up as he left the bed.

Jim hadn’t slept this well in ages. He looked at his wide-awake dad and said, “Thanks, Dad. I needed the sleep. That’s the first time I’ve slept all night long.”

Jim went to work and found out he could get by without Blair. He was starting month three and missed Blair so much, but knew that Blair was doing important things. He could hardly wait to hear.

~~~In South America~~~

Blair was on his third month of working with the Yanomamö. He was now able to converse with them easily, he went on hunting trips daily, he documented the wild animals with their help and began to study the long-term effect of no Sentinels for the Guides.

Blair looked up and saw Eli standing above him. “Hey, Eli. How goes it?”

“We have 15 Sentinel Males coming as of tomorrow. We’ll go and pick them up and explain everything to them. All 15 have lost their Guides some way or another. They all volunteered for the project. It might work out.”

Blair said, “I need to get back to work, Eli. Talk to you later.” Blair made his way to the Chief’s hut and announced himself. He was speaking the language as if it was his native tongue.

The Chief’s name was Matki. Blair loved him. He was a fierce leader, but a tender man also. He told Matki about the 15 Sentinels being on their way here.

He was very pleased and shared the drug again to celebrate. As Blair lay back and let his mind go, he saw the Indian again. He told him his name was Incacha and that he was on the path of becoming a great man.

~~~Incacha Dream~~~

Soon you will have to leave here. Things will come faster than you had planned on. You do not wish to miss the birth of your children. It’s very important. Finish your work and give your papers to the white haired man. It’s almost time to go home.

When Blair woke up he was filled with sadness. He didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t want to miss out on Jim and the baby. Then he remembered what the Spirit Guide told him. There was more than one baby. This made Blair miss Jim even more.

For the next week, he worked with the tribe and with the Sentinels that had arrived. He had to start the training so they could learn the language. Then he spent a lot of time showing them the customs and how they could make their lives better. Then one week, turned into three and finally he had to go to Eli and tell him he had to leave.

“Eli, I must go home.”

“Don’t be silly, my dear boy. You’re doing a wonderful job.” Eli wasn’t going to sway easily.

“Eli, you told me I could leave if I needed to. Jim is having the babies earlier than planned. I need to be home.”

“And how would you know this?”

“Remember I told you about the Indian man in my dreams? Well, his name is Incacha and he told me Jim is having more than one baby. He also said they were coming soon.”

Eli went to his tent and brought out Blair’s ticket and said, “We’ll be sad to see you go.”

“I taught six people the language so you would not be here without the skill of a working language. I have them all set up with the Sentinels and it’s going very well. They have all bonded. So it’s time.” He took the ticket from Eli.

“You might want to throw some clothes on.” Both men laughed and Blair dressed and packed for the trip.

That night he said goodbye to everyone and then went to see the tribe. It was heartbreaking, but he knew he had to leave. This was one of the hardest things he had to do in his life. He wondered what that said about him. He wasn’t even this sad about Jim. Yes, he missed Jim like mad, but he felt lost leaving these people. This bothered him a great deal.

~~~In Cascade~~~

Jim had a dream that Blair was coming home. A wolf was leading the way and a Panther was standing over to the side. He got up the following morning and William said, “You look happy, Jimmy. Something I should know about?”

“I had a dream that Blair would be coming home soon. I can’t wait to see him. I never thought I could miss a person this much.” Jim went from happy to sad in five seconds.

“He’ll be home soon, Jimmy. So don’t worry about that. Are you on Maternity leave?”

“Yes, I won’t be going back again, unless I find a wonderful nanny. Maybe you could help me look, Dad.” Jim was enjoying spending the time around his dad lately.

Conner stopped by to check on Jim on her way to work. “Hi, there. Feel like a little company?”

“You came on a perfect day. I think Blair is coming home soon. Could you check the airline flights for me today?” Jim asked.

“Oh sure, Blair’s coming home and I get tossed aside.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” Jim touched her shoulder.

“Jim, I was kidding.” She smiled and hugged him. “Oh I just felt the baby move. How exciting.”

“Want to feel them again? There are two of them, you know?”

“I would love to. Twins? I can’t believe how fun this is going to be.” Conner became misty eyed.

Jim leaned back on the bed and lifted his shirt up for her to touch. She began to touch his belly and the babies were going wild.

”Jim, can I do this for a while?”

“Sure. Hey, have you given any more thought to calling Rafe up?”

“He doesn’t know I’m alive, Jim.” Conner said.

“Yes he does. He’s wild about you. His pheromones spike as soon as you’re near. So there.” Jim smiled.

“Serious?” Megan continued to rub Jim’s belly and soon both of them were asleep. It was fine that Jim was, but Conner was supposed to be going to work.

She woke up at 10:00 in the morning and went downstairs to call Simon.


“Simon, I’m so sorry. I lost track of time while I was visiting Jim. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be in.”

“Stay there. Sandburg called me and he’s coming home tonight. So stay with him and keep him calm.”

“Does he know, Sir?” Megan asked quietly.

“No, but he senses these things. Keep him calm.”

“Okay, we’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Tomorrow is good, Conner. Thank you for looking out for our friend.”

She crawled back in the bed with Jim and began to rub his belly. He was in a deep sleep and was moaning. The kind of moan that Megan wished she would be making him do. Then she glanced down and saw his penis was hard as a rock.

Conner kept rubbing his belly, his thighs and upper legs. She realized he wasn’t sleeping. He just wanted her to think so. He probably hadn’t done anything in a long time. First she was tempted to help him have a good orgasm. Then she remembered that Sandy would be coming tonight. Before she could make up her mind he opened his eyes and said, “I’m right there, Megan. Please?”

“Jim, wouldn’t you rather wait for Blair?”

“He’s not coming for another two months. I can’t wait that long.” Jim was officially in a total whine zone.

“What if I would tell you he was coming tonight?” She smiled at her friend and partner. Rubbing very soft and driving Jim nuts he came with a yell.

“God, Jim, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you come.”

“I haven’t touched myself anywhere since Blair left. I’m so fucking horny it isn’t funny. The babies are irritated at me, will you rub me again?”

Conner cleaned Jim up and began to rub him and before long he was hard again.

“All right now that’s it. You’re waiting for Blair.” She curled into his body and fell asleep again.

They ate lunch, and dinner and time seemed to be going by very slowly. “Conner, is it just me or is it taking forever?”

“It’s taking forever. Jim, what are you going to tell Sandy about us?”

“Conner, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just hadn’t been touched in a long while. It wasn’t like you were fisting my cock.” Jim smiled at her.

“Well, what was it like?” Blair said from behind them.

Conner jumped and ran to him, hugged him and said, “Sandy, we missed you so much.”

“What’s this Sandy shit? And how come you were putting moves on my man?” Blair was teasing.

“That’s what she calls you, Chief. Sandy. Short for Sandburg.” Jim wrapped his arms around Blair and hugged him harder and harder and came in his jeans.

“I would say someone is horny. Didn’t you take care of that while I was gone?” Blair kissed him over and over again. He loved feeling the babies inside of Jim.

“I wanted to wait for you.”

“So, Conner, was he good?” Blair smiled but Conner thought he might be very angry.

“Sandy, I was rubbing his belly. I swear I didn’t touch anything else.”

“I was teasing, Conner. Now I want to take this gorgeous pregnant man upstairs and fuck him senseless. Goodnight, Missy.” Blair was holding Jim’s hand and pulled him up the stairs.

“Where is your dad?”

“He’s out of town for tonight. What will we ever do?” Jim kissed Blair once inside their room.

“Can I talk to you first?” Blair sounded serious.

“You can talk to me anytime.” Jim answered.

“I want to tell you how much I missed you. I dreamed of you every single night. I cried sometimes in my sleep and woke up with puffy eyes. I never dreamed I would miss you as much as I did. And now I’m looking at you and your body is making me feel things I’ve not felt since I left. I want to see you naked, now.” Blair commanded.

“Chief, I love you, too and I missed you so badly. I cried sometimes also. It was a long time to be away from each other, wasn’t it?” Jim was almost naked by this time.

“You’re belly is beautiful, Jim. I can’t wait to lay down with you. And yes, it was too long to be away from each other. I hope we don’t do that ever again.”

Blair stripped his clothing off and climbed into bed and waited for Jim. Jim almost seemed nervous, which made Blair smile.

“Are you making fun of me, Chief?”

“Nope. I just love looking at your body. What do you want first?” Blair said huskily.

“Suck me, Chief. I want to come in your mouth.”

Blair positioned himself on Jim’s inner thigh and took Jim and pulled him over on his side. Then Blair began to take his cock into the warm and welcoming mouth. Blair was savoring Jim’s taste already, so he knew that he wouldn’t take that long.

“Chief, I’m right there, baby. Right there.” And Jim came with a mighty roar. “Fuck me now.”

“I can do that.” Blair readied Jim’s stunning ass. Blair had forgotten just how spectacular it was. Suddenly, Blair slowed down a lot.

“Is something wrong, Chief?”

“No, I was ready to come just from playing with your ass. It’s the best ass anyone could ever have. Thank you for being mine.” Blair put some lube on his cock and slid into Jim’s very tight channel.

“Holy Shit!” Jim called out.

“Am I hurting you?” Blair was a wreck.

“No, I forgot how great this feels. It’s been a long time, baby.”

“I agree. Can I resume pounding this stunning ass into the mattress?”

“Chief, you can do whatever you want.”

So Blair did. He began fucking him harder and harder. Jim was making some wonderful noises and Blair said, “Jim, I’m really close.”

“So am I. Talk to me, Chief. That will make me come.”

“I missed you so much I thought a few times I would die. I love you like you can’t even imagine. And you feel so fucking good. You’re so tight. Oh man, I’m not going to make it much longer, babe. I love you so much. And did I mention how great you look pregnant?”

Jim came with another roar followed by Blair’s howl. They lay together for the longest time and finally Blair got up and got the wipes to clean them up with. Once in bed he crawled into Jim’s arms and they both went to sleep.


While Blair was sleeping he realized that this was the first night without his Indian visitor. He missed that man but was also glad to be back with his own man.



“I’m sorry to wake you up but how in the hell did you know we were having twins?”

“Jim, the Indian in my dreams told me things. That was one of them. He said that I needed to get home because you were getting close.”

“He was right. I’m having a C-section tomorrow.”

“Holy Crap! Are you scared?” Blair kissed Jim’s chest and neck.


“I’ll be there the entire time. We’ll have two sweet babies and that’s that.”

Jim leaned in and kissed Blair. “I missed you so much. I would never be able to love anyone like I love you.”

“Good.” Blair kissed him again and pushed him back into the sleeping position.


In the morning Jim woke up and found a smiling William staring at his lover. “When did he get back?”

“Last night. So he’ll be here for the surgery.” Jim whispered.

Jim reached down and covered Blair up a little more and said, “Dad, can I be alone with him for a while?”

“Certainly. I’ll make breakfast and wait for you downstairs.” William walked off very content. “For Blair, not for you. You can’t have anything.”

Jim smiled after his dad and then started to kiss Blair all over his body and found a very stiff cock waiting for his lips. As he took Blair cock into his mouth, Blair said, “Jim, are you supposed to be doing this?”

“Yes. This is our last time for a while. I want it to be good for you and me.” Jim went back to sucking until Blair was almost there.

Jim then got Blair stretched and ready and slid in. Oh yeah, home at last for both of them. He managed to get Blair’s legs around his waist and Blair began to rub his stomach feeling the babies move as Jim fucked him. Something about it was very erotic to both men.

“Chief, stop doing that or I’m going to come.”

“What? Rubbing your belly?”

“Yes. I want to last a little longer than two minutes.” Jim said irritably.

Blair ignored him and started to rub his babies harder and Jim said, “Oh god. I’m not going to make it, Blair.”

“I don’t remember your belly being this sensitive before I left.” Blair mentioned.

“The babies move and their little feet kick down somewhere that seems to be connected in the region of my cock and balls.” Jim started fucking Blair almost roughly and Blair said, “Oh I’m going to come with you, Jim.”

Jim kept it up and Blair kept the rubbing of the belly up. Before long Blair howled Jim’s name and Jim continued to fuck Blair for quite some time before he finally came with his usual roar.

They got into the shower and talked some more about the babies and their lives. Jim kept kissing Blair and holding on to him like he was going to lose him.

Downstairs Blair had breakfast, Jim didn’t get to eat and William kept kissing the top of Blair’s head.

“You boys about ready?

“Dad, you don’t have to go.” Jim said.

“I want to go. You’re my son. These are my grand-babies.”

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road then.” Blair got Jim’s bag ready to go.

William and Blair both knew that Jim was scared to death, but he would never admit to it. Blair curled into Jim’s body and said, “I love you. I’m scared to death.”

“Me too.” Jim whispered and William knew how great Blair was to get Jim to admit anything.

“We haven’t decided on two more names. Or do you know names already?”

“The doctor came in after the ultrasound and told me that we were having twins. We’re getting a little boy and a little girl. So we get to use both of our names.” Jim beamed with pride.

“Jim, this is so fantastic. Thank you, babe. What is that look for?” Blair was eyeballing him now.

“They ran some tests while I was there. Both of the babies are Sentinels. I didn’t know how you would feel about that.”

Blair kissed him and said, “I love the idea of having little Sentinels. We’re going to be great parents and your Dad will be a super Grampa.”

“Thank you, Blair.” William called over the seat.

Once they arrived, they took Jim right up to get ready for the surgery, while they took Blair in to get into scrubs. When he walked into Jim’s OR, Jim smiled at how cute his lover looked.

They were alone for a few moments so Jim asked, “Chief, were you tempted or anything while you were over there?”

“If you’re asking me if I slept with anyone, then, no. I didn’t even think about it. I was too fucking busy.” Blair seemed irritated.

“Why are you mad at me? I’m a little insecure and I didn’t want to share you with anyone.” Jim looked bewildered.

“I’m sorry, Jim. We’ll get better at this. I really was too busy to do anything or think about doing anything. Besides I love you too fucking much.” Blair kissed him softly.

The doctor and the nurses all came walking through the door and explained the routine. When they finished, they began to get Jim prepped for surgery and started the shot in his spine. They had explained that it was called an epidural and it was working like a charm. Jim couldn’t feel anything below his chest.

Blair stood beside Jim and held his hand firmly. When the doctor started to make the incision, Jim grabbed Blair’s other hand.

“Doctor, is this hurting Jim?” Blair asked worriedly.

“No, he’s feeling the pressure and that’s a little unnerving, isn’t it, Jim?” Doctor Pressman was very good at handling scared life-mates.

Before long Jim made an odd sound and the doctor pulled the first baby out. He was huge. Jim looked at the baby boy and then at Blair and said, “Seven pounds at least.”

“Jim, I think you might be right.” Pressman said handing the baby over to the head nurse. “Now, back to work.” In about two minutes he pulled the little girl out, but she wasn’t little at all. She was also very large. “Jim, I think she’s seven pounds at least too.”

Nurse Natalie went up to the head of the bed and asked, “Names yet?”

Blair was trying not to cry so he decided he would answer. “Our daughter will be Mallory Sandburg Ellison and our son will be Seth William Sandburg Ellison.”

“Those are beautiful names. Very good choices.” Nurse Natalie said sweetly.

Doctor Pressman cleaned everything out, made sure he was done bleeding, sewed Jim up nicely and then put a huge bandage on his lower abdomen. “Jim and Blair, you’ll see the babies in just a few minutes.” Then he walked out of the room.

Blair kissed Jim softly and whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Would you do me a favor?” Jim asked his lover.


“I want you to go and be with the babies. I don’t want them with strangers.”

“Okay, I’ll be back when they come back. I love you, big man.” Blair walked out even though he didn’t want to.

Once he got to the nursery he saw their twins and smiled. Man, they were cute. Mallory had tons of curly dark brown hair and blue eyes. Seth had blue eyes, but lighter brown hair and no curl. Blair rocked them one at a time until it was time to go and see Jim. Walking down there, the nurse, Kelsey said, “Mallory weighed 7 pounds and Seth weighed 8.”

“My word. No wonder he was uncomfortable.” Blair said shaking his head.

“They’re the largest twin’s born to a Sentinel. And they’re the only Sentinel twin’s that have been born to a male Sentinel. You both did a fine job.”

“Thanks, Kelsey. How long do we have to stay here?”

“The doctor will tell you that. They like to think it’s their job.” Kelsey and Blair laughed all the way to the recovery room.

Jim lit up like a lamp when he saw Blair walk through the door. Then he saw his babies and was melting into a big ole pile of goo.

Blair picked up Mallory and said, “Daddy, this is our daughter, Mallory. She weighed 7 pounds and she’s a very good eater.” Jim held her as he nearly started to cry.

“Hey, you guys. Can we have some privacy?” Blair asked sweetly.

Everyone walked out of the room and Blair took Mallory out of Jim’s arms. He replaced her with their new son. “Jim, this is our son, Seth and he weighed 8 pounds. The only twins ever born to a male sentinel.”

“Blair, they’re beautiful, aren’t they?”

“You better believe it. I love them both. I can’t wait to get them home.”

Jim played with Seth and Blair held Mallory until the doctor came walking in. “Congratulations, Daddies. You have reason to be very proud. These babies are two of the healthiest babies I’ve ever delivered. We’ll start with the lessons on how to handle a baby Sentinel tonight. Rest up until then. You can let the little ones go back to the nursery.”


Two days later, they learned everything they should know about baby Sentinels and Jim and the babies were released.

Life at the Sandburg-Ellison home was much different now. Not that anyone would complain. Both babies slept straight through the night, leaving both men to sleep also. Life was going well.

Jim had to stay home for two months, so that’s what he did. He loved the children so much. Days were flying by, making him wonder how in the world he would have time for everything once he got back into the field.

Simon was in his office one morning and Blair knocked on his door. “Come on in.” Simon bellowed.

“Simon, how hard would it be to get into the Peace Officer Academy?”

“You?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, me. I want to work with Jim and be his partner.” Blair was so nervous.

Simon picked his phone up and called his friend at the Academy and made an appointment for Blair to meet him in an hour.

“Blair, are you sure you want to do this? What about your Ph.D.?”

“I was hoping you might even come up with a special unit tag for Jim and I. Something like Profiler’s. What do you think?”

“I think it’s a good idea. We’d love to have you on board. Go see my friend and let me know what you’re doing.” Simon stood up for Blair to leave.

“Thank you, Simon.” Blair shook his hand before he left. “I would like to keep this between the two of us for now. Is that all right?”

“Sandburg, you have to tell Jim.”

“Please? It’s a surprise.” Blair walked out the door not waiting for Simon’s answer.

The appointment went very well and Blair would be starting the following morning. The University took his leaving well, and that surprised Blair. He discovered he would only have to go to the academy for two months. Weapons Class, martial arts training, hand-to-hand combat and diffusing family disputes classes. Now he just had to do this without Jim knowing. Blair loved surprises.

When Blair got home that night, he kissed Jim over and over again. “What’s that for?” Jim asked smiling.

“Are the children sleeping?”


“Race you to the bedroom.” Blair started running and Jim overtook him in no time at all. Laughing they jumped on the bed and started making out.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to make love to me yet?”

“Well, I changed my damn mind. I want you so badly. Shit, I forgot to buy condoms.” Blair lay back frustrated.

“It’s not time for me to be able to have a baby. So don’t worry about it.” Jim pulled him closer and before long they were on their way. “Blair, the doctor said that sentinels can only carry a child once every two years.”

“Hot damn.”

William lay in bed smiling at the sounds coming from Jim and Blair’s room. He was so happy that Blair was back and that they had their family all together. Things would indeed look up.

In the morning Jim was cuddling with Blair until he heard, “Shit, I have to go to the University today.”

“Do you have to?”

“Yes. You get up and take care of our babies.” Blair laughed all the way into the shower.


Jim was still on medical leave. He loved his children, but he missed work something fierce. While he was feeding them their lunch bottles, he heard Conner drive up. When she got to the door he called out, “Come on in.”

“Oh my word, these little ones are precious. Jim, they’re beautiful.” She leaned down and kissed each of them on the top of their heads. “I didn’t know babies tried to sit up this early.”

“The doctor thinks it has to do with their size. Look at them, Conner. They look like they’re five months old. But they can’t sit up all alone. That might be next month.”

“They sure do look older than they are. And Seth has the same amount of hair that you do.” Megan began to giggle.

“I’ll remember this when I come back to work.” Jim smiled.

“Speaking of work, they teamed me with a new sentinel.”


“Just until you come back. He’s so nice, Jim. He was having a lot of trouble and they thought he would have to leave. But since we’ve been together, he’s been fine. Wait until you see him. He’s so handsome and he’s quite the stud muffin.” Megan not only teased but also had a look of love look on her face.

“Conner, you can’t get involved with him. As soon as he bonds, he won’t be there for you.” Jim was being the helpful friend Conner had come to know and love.

“Well, that’s just it, he is unable to find his Guide. I guess the family took him far away so he wouldn’t be thrust into a homosexual lifestyle.” Conner hoped that would make Jim feel better.

“Conner, I’m telling you, I would have left a woman that I had married when Blair came to me. It’s something I can’t explain, but I don’t want you hurt.”

“Too late. I’ve moved in with him and we’ve been sleeping together for about two months. Don’t give me that look, Jim. I love him. He loves me. That’s all that counts right now.”

“What’s his name?”

“Tim Gladden. Do you know him?”

“Yeah, he’s a nice man. Just be careful, Megan. How about a barbecue this weekend? We can hang with him and get to know him better. Blair needs to meet him too.” Jim smiled over at his friend.

“That would be wonderful. Tim told me he loves kids too. So, he’ll enjoy being with yours.” Conner kissed Jim, as she got ready to go. “Maybe it will give him some ideas.”

“Conner, what if you had a child with him and then he left you to be with his Guide? I don’t want this to happen.”

“Too late again. I’m pregnant.”

“Does he know?”

“Not yet. Please don’t say anything to anyone. I’m not sure what I’ll do.”

“I promise.” Jim hugged her quickly and then looked at the doorway where his father stood.

“Jimmy, what can I do to help?” William asked.

“You could take Seth and I’ll take Mallory and we’ll get them bathed and ready for a nap.”

Conner left Grandfather and Father to spend time with the babies.

The day flew by, and when Blair walked through the door, he had a bruise on his face.

“Jesus. What happened?” Jim was upset immediately.

“No big deal, big man. I tripped and fell in my office. It was actually sort of funny.” Blair teased.

“It’s not funny and I know you’re lying to me. What happened and who hit you?”

“No one hit me. Are we going to eat tonight or what?” Blair walked into the kitchen to see if he could help with things.

“Blair, what happened to you?” William pulled him into a hug also.

Blair told him the whole story and he and William were laughing. Jim could still tell Blair was lying. He just had no idea why.

When everything was done for the evening, Jim walked into the bedroom and saw a naked and very hard Blair waiting for him. He would have to ask him later about the black eye. Who could resist this gorgeous man? Who could resist that gorgeous penis? Well, Jim only hoped that everyone was resisting it.

Jim was surprised when Blair fucked him hard, three times in a row, that night. Something was up and thankfully it wasn’t Sandburg. He was finally down for the count. They were going to have to talk.

When Jim got up the next day, Blair was gone already. He asked William, “Dad, did Blair seem off to you?”

“Jimmy, don’t make problems. He’s fine.”

“Okay, Dad. I won’t make waves.” Jim put each of the babies in their high chairs and began his day.

~~~Two Months Later~~~

Blair realized that he still had about one week left, but it was getting harder and harder keeping this a secret. He was so excited and so was Simon. Simon had arranged the job for the two of them.

“Sandburg, I’d like to see you in my office.” Chief Matters said.

“Yes, sir.” Blair followed him in and Matters shut the door.

“I have good news, Sandburg. First of all, you came in first in all of your classes. Next, you have a week left, but I’ve signed off on your certificate. You’re officially a Peace Officer now. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Sir. I’m very excited about this.” Blair shook his hand and left with his papers.

He could hardly wait to get to Simon’s office. He knocked and heard Simon’s “come” and walked in.

“Sir, here is my paperwork. He said he signed me off early.” Blair was beaming with pride.

“Congratulations, Sandburg. Are you ready to start soon? We’ve got your new office, equipment and everything. Now I have one thing to ask. Would you consider asking Conner and Gladden to join your team? It would make a wonderful new department. Two Sentinels and two Guides. Perfect for solving crimes.”

“I’ll talk to Jim about it later. We have to find a nanny for the babies. Then we’ll be set. I’ll find one in the next few days. Thank you, Sir.” Blair was ‘so’ out of there.

The drive home gave him time to think about whether or not it was finally time to fess up. When he pulled up, Jim was just coming up the driveway, after his run.

“Hey.” Blair said sweetly.

“Hey, yourself. What kind of day did you have?” Jim smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Jim, I have something to tell you. Can we go inside?”

“Sure. It’s your home too.” Jim walked in shaking like a leaf. “Let me shower really fast before we talk.”

“Can I shower with you?”

“Yeah, that would be good.” Jim realized that Blair had something to tell him, but it couldn’t be that bad. Not if he wanted to shower with him.

Blair checked on the babies to be sure they were napping and followed Jim into the bathroom. The naked men commenced soaping each other up and getting stiff as boards.

“I want you to fuck me, Jim.”

“I can do that.” Jim began to prepare him and then slid his cock into Blair’s tight, hot, channel. Jim loved it there. It was where he belonged.

As Jim fucked him, Blair began to talk. “Jim, I stopped working at the University two months ago. I went and talked to Simon Banks about me becoming an official partner for you. He even came up with a new title. We will be The Sentinel Profiling Sector. I finished today. I got my certificates, my guns and a pat on the back from Simon. He wants us to ask Conner and Gladden to join our team. I don’t want you to be angry. I wanted to surprise you. What do you think?”

Jim began fucking him harder and said, “God, I love you. You feel so good. And if I can have you by my side all day long, I’ll be the luckiest man on earth. I’m not angry. But I wish you could have let the cat out of the bag for me. I was very apprehensive.” Jim was getting extremely close and began to fist Blair’s cock rapidly. When they both came yelling out each other’s names, they both knew things would work out just fine.


That evening both men made a list of things they were looking for in a nanny. They wanted to start to work, side by side, soon.

William walked in and said, “I’ve made five appointments for tomorrow for nanny’s. Here are their Résumé’s.”

“Thank you, William. We were just thinking about starting.” Blair said.

“Jimmy had told me that I could help him while you were in South America, so I figured you could both use the help.”

“Thanks, Dad. And you don’t mind someone in your home all day long?” Jim wondered aloud.

“Actually, three of these women do it at their home. They prefer to stay away from Sentinel families. They said the families were hard on staff. Can you imagine, Jimmy?” William laughed his butt off.

“What do you mean by that?” Jim asked.

“You growled at the neighbor's boy the other day because his kite could have hit Seth on the head. Let’s not even mention that he was a mile away from Seth. Do you remember? We no longer get a smile from him, Jimmy.”

“It doesn’t hurt to be careful. Right, Blair?”

“Jim, I can’t believe you did that. How old was this kid? You probably scared him for life.” Blair just shook his head.

“I’ll apologize to him, Chief. I promise. Let’s start looking at what Dad has here.” Jim began reading the first sheet.

“Jim, if I like them, I get them.” Blair said quietly.

“I have no say in it?”

“Nope.” Blair kissed his Sentinel and began to read too.

When the evening was done, the three men decided on two women. William made the calls and asked them to come for an interview the next day.

“All right, boys. It’s all set up. The two contenders will be here at 9:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m.” William was thrilled to have that much done.

The following morning Blair called Conner and asked her if she and Tim would be interested in working with he and Jim. Conner started screaming with excitement and said, “Yes, of course we’ll do it.”

“Excellent. I wanted you two to work with us. We have a lot to prove and we needed the help. But you might want to ask Tim how he feels about it.” Blair almost whispered, so Jim couldn’t hear.

Jim walked through the room and said, “Don’t be nervous, Chief. We’ll get that department up and running in no time.”

“Sandy, do you hate the way he can hear the whole lot?”

“Yes.” Jim came up behind him and began to kiss his neck. “Well, I need to go Conner. See you later.”

The two men began to make out while the babies were still sleeping. They made love quietly and slowly before they would have to get the darling’s ready.

Jim got the water ready in the tub and Blair brought them in one at a time. Jim smiled as Seth kicked water all over his face and shirt. “Do you love getting Daddy wet?” Seth did it some more laughing up a storm. When he handed Mallory over, Jim sat her in her little bath seat and took care of Seth first. Once he was clean, he handed him to his other Daddy. Mallory was very excited to have the washcloth in her mouth. Chewing like mad, she started crying softly, making both Jim and Blair stare in confusion.

“Chief, why is she crying. She was just smiling.”

“I don’t know. This is my first time being a parent too.” Blair went to get William and drug him into the room.

By this time Mallory was chewing harder and crying harder. “Oh, is my little Grand-baby teething? Grandpa will go and buy something to make your toofer’s feel better.”

“How did you know that, Dad? And don’t talk baby-talk to her, please.”

“I had kids, Jim. And I know sometimes I wasn’t around enough, but when you and Steven were babies, I couldn’t spend enough time with you. You did this very same thing. You chewed on a washcloth and screamed bloody murder. I’ll run to the pharmacy and get the Jel. Relax, boys. She’ll be fine.” He left the room and Jim smiled at Blair.

“I guess we need to calm down a little.”

“We? We? I think you need to calm down. I was going to pick her up and just hold her. But nooooooo.” Blair giggled as he rushed from the room.

Jim yelled, “You’re the one that went to get my dad.” Jim was laughing by this time.

As they dressed the children, Blair asked, “What are they going to call me?”

“I’ve given this a great deal of thought. I had a friend who called his Dad, P`ere. I liked that sound. Or Papa, or Poppy. Up to you, totally.”

“I like Papa. Is that fine with you?”

“Of course it’s fine with me. I love you, Chief. Anything would be fine with me.” Jim smiled at him with longing making Blair wish they had more time alone.


The interviews went well and they choose a very nice woman named Mary to be with their precious ones. The twins were going to start going to their new nanny’s the next day.

That night in bed Jim was very nervous. “Jim, don’t even start this shit. They have to go to the nanny, if you want to work with me. You do, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I’m just nervous about their first day with a stranger. I’ll be better after we pick them up tomorrow.” Jim kissed Blair and rolled on his side.

“I asked your dad to pick them up at 4:00, so they wouldn’t be so upset. I hope you don’t mind.” Blair said.

“Thank you. I love you so much. You always know what to do.”

They wrapped themselves up in each other’s arms and fell asleep quickly.

Blair woke to Jim vomiting the next morning. I knew he would make himself sick.

When he walked out he was white as a ghost and sat on the end of the bed. “I need to see the doctor.”

“What’s wrong?” Blair practically sat on top of him trying to calm them both down.

Jim sadly said, “I think I’m fucking pregnant.”

“What do you mean? You said you couldn’t get pregnant for two more years.”

“That’s what the doctor said, and I believed him. But this is how I felt when I was carrying the twins.”

Blair kissed him softly and said, “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t want another baby right now, Chief. Will you go to the doctor with me?”

Blair smiled and said, “Of course I’ll go with you. Where else would I be? Now tell me what you want to do.”

“Get an abortion, I guess.”

“Could we consider some other options, Jim?”

“Well, Chief, it’s not you that would have to carry the baby and deliver it. I don’t wish to do this again.”

“Very well.” Blair jolted up from the bed and moved into the shower.

“Way to go, Ellison.” He said aloud as he lay in the bed, feeling sicker by the minute.

When Blair came out of the bathroom, he saw how sick Jim looked and wondered if there was something else wrong. Blair rubbed his belly and Jim said, “Yes, now I know for sure I’m pregnant. It likes you rubbing my stomach.”

“Jim, would it be so bad? We love the twins so much. We could get our family out of the way first thing. What about that?”

“Blair, we just got a new department. Simon will have a cow if I show up pregnant again.”

“Jim, I know I don’t have to carry the baby, but I vote for letting this little piece of us live.”

“We’ll see, Chief.”

“I think we better start later at the station. I’ll give Simon some odd excuse. Did they give you anything last time for the sick stomach?”

“Yeah. I might still have some. I’ll go and look.” Jim walked quickly into the bathroom and Blair heard him taking a pill.

Blair hoped he could talk some sense into Jim before he did something rash. But he also knew that Jim was right. His body; his decision. Sighing he got up to start his day.


When the dropped the babies off, both men felt sad, but at the same time knew it was time to move on.

Everyone made a big deal out of Jim coming back. The office they did up for Jim, Blair, Tim and Megan was really nice. Everyone got busy first thing.

Simon walked into their office and said, “You’ve got your first profiling case.” He handed the paperwork over to Blair and left smiling.

“Tell us. What is it?” Megan was so excited.

“Serial Killer on the loose again. We have his MO and we’ll go from there.” Blair walked over and made copies of the paperwork for all of them. They proceeded to read and discuss for the next four hours.

Jim and Tim were working well together. They seemed to come up with some great suggestions. Between them and Megan and Blair, they figured out where this man might be. They all got ready to go and left the station.

On the drive over, Jim turned to Blair and said, “No, I don’t have an attraction to him.”

“I never said you did. He just looks like he really likes you a lot.”

“Blair, so does Megan. Are you going to hold that against her?”

“No. I’ll be good.”

They arrived and both couples got out of their vehicles and walked to the front door. Just as Jim was going to ring the bell, a shotgun went off and hit Jim full bast in the stomach. Neither Sentinel was listening for anything out of the ordinary, yet.

“Oh god.” Blair whimpered and then called for more back-up and also 911.

“I would say we have the right place, Sandburg. Want to go with me?” Tim asked as he readied his pistol.

“Yes. Conner, will you stay with Jim?”

“Of course I will. I’ll keep pressure on his wound.”

Blair and Tim knocked down the door together and rushed into the house. Both men were thinking about how much better it would have been if they had vests on, but then they realized, this fucker would probably just shoot them in the head.

Out in front, the EMT’s arrived and loaded Jim into the ambulance. They wouldn’t say anything to Conner, so she was very worried. Now she had nothing to tell Sandburg, either good or bad.

She then grabbed her gun out of her holster and was going to give the two men backup. As she came around the corner, she saw Tim and Blair, and then she saw the asshole with the shotgun. Tim turned when he heard the heartbeat, but it was too late. But it wasn’t for Conner. She shot him right in the head. She couldn’t take a chance of missing him.

Tim rushed over to her and said, “Thank you, Meg. Are you all right?”

“Just dandy. I just want to get up to the hospital cuz Jim didn’t look too good.”

“We’ll get everything finished here and head up there as fast as we can.” Blair said.

Everyone knew he was a nervous wreck, but he remained at the scene to take care of business. Simon walked up to him and said, “Sandburg, you need to go to the hospital right now. They’re having some trouble with him. They can’t calm him down.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll leave now.” Blair ran out the door and sped over to the hospital as quickly as he could. He found out where he was and went up in the elevator.

He walked into the room and could hear Jim yelling at them to get away from his baby. The doctors all looked at Blair and said, “Are you Guide Sandburg?”

“Yes. Fill me in on what’s going on.”

Doctor Pressman walked in behind Blair and said, “We’re in some trouble here. Jim is indeed pregnant, which has never happened before in Sentinel history. He was shot in the upper abdomen and he’s bleeding a great deal. The baby is fine right now, but if he continues to carry the child, he’ll die.”

“Jim will die?”

“Yes. I’m sorry there is no easy way. He has to give the baby up.” Pressman hoped that Blair would help.

Blair walked over to the bed and Jim had tears rolling down his face. “Chief, don’t let them take this baby. Okay?”

“Jim, you told me you would never leave me, right?”


“Well, if you carry the baby to term, you’ll die.”

“Chief, they don’t know that. I decided just this morning that I wanted to give you that baby. I dreamed of her name and everything.”

“It doesn’t matter, Jim. I’m going to sign the papers and they’ll take the bullet and the baby.” Blair now had tears rolling down his face.

“Her name was Melanie. Like your friend. I don’t want to kill her.” Jim said sadly.

“Jim, we have to do this. I’m sorry. I love you and want you to myself. I also want the babies at home to have their Daddy.”

“Whatever you decide, Blair. I’m sorry this happened.” Jim turned his head and looked out the window as he listened to the doctors and Blair talk.

Six hours later, Doctor Pressman came into the room and said, “Blair, There was so much damage that we had to take all of his organs for the birthing area. He won’t be able to have any more children. I’m very sorry. The baby was a little girl. He kept calling her Melanie.”

“But he’s all right?”

“Yes, he’s fine. But he’s very upset. He wanted to know first thing when you two could have another baby. When I told him the news, he didn’t take it well.”

“I’ll wait here for him if that’s all right.”

“That will be just fine, Blair. Good luck.” Doctor Pressman walked out of the room and Blair began to cry.

Megan and Tim walked in at that moment and saw the empty bed. “Oh God, Sandy, when did it happen?”

“Jim is fine. He just got out of surgery. We lost our baby girl. He was pregnant. They had to remove everything so he’ll never be able to carry a baby again.”

Tim stood up and pulled Blair into a much-needed hug and said, “We’re here for anything. All you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you, Tim. I needed that hug.” Blair just continued to stay in the hug until they brought Jim into the room.

Jim was awake, but looking at the ceiling. He didn’t want to talk or listen to anyone. He must have forgotten who he was married to.

“Jim, I’m so glad you’re alive. I love you so much. I know that things look bad right now, but things will get better as time goes on. Give us time, Jim.”

Jim turned to him and said, “I want my old life back. I want my new baby girl back. I want to be able to give you children.” Jim was trying not to cry.

“Jim, you gave me two children that are perfect. Yes, we lost Melanie, but we’ll give her a proper burial and tell the children about her. Would that help, man?”

“I think that would help, Chief. I love you so much. Will you stay knowing I can’t give you another?”

“I would stay for any reason, Jim. I love you so much.”

So that is what they did. They had a nice service for the little one and they put pictures of her in a special place in the house.


Two months later, when Jim came back to work, they all noticed he was quieter, but he was doing a fine job. The person that noticed the most wrong with Jim was Blair. Jim no longer touched him as he once did and they no longer slept in the same bed. Jim moved into Seth’s room and slept in the twin bed. It was killing Blair.

As the months went by, Blair became sadder. It had been six months since the surgery and death of their daughter and Jim acted as if he didn’t need Blair anymore at all.

That night at dinner, Blair said, “I’m thinking of putting my name in for the Guide draw.”

“What are you talking about, Blair? You belong to Jim.” William was shocked.

“Not anymore, William. He no longer wants me or needs me as a guide. I can’t live like that.”

Jim started to get up to leave and Blair pulled him back down. “You stay here and talk to me or I’ll leave and never come back again. I mean it.”

“Fine… What do you want?” Jim growled.

“Jim, talk to him kindly. He’s your mate. You don’t treat him that way.” William was angry.

“I’m not happy being married anymore. I’m sorry.”

This time it was Blair that got up and left. He packed and left the house without a word to Jim. He knew he could see his children at the nanny tomorrow.

“What are you doing, Jim?”

“Dad, everything isn’t always perfect. I wanted a larger family and that was taken away from me. I never wanted to appear weak to Blair, but yet that’s what happened. Things just don’t always work.” Jim got up and picked up both babies and took them upstairs.

For the next month, Blair worked along side Jim, but nothing else. He lived in his own apartment and lived a lonely life. Blair kept watching Jim, but saw no sign of loss, love or loneliness. He spent as much time as he could with their babies. Both of the children took their first steps while spending time with Blair.

Tim walked up to Jim and said, “Barbecue, Saturday at 6:00. Don’t piss Megan off.” Jim laughed.

“Thanks, I would like that.” Jim smiled at Megan who was watching like a hawk from the other side of the room.

Jim was looking forward to going out. He only spent time with his dad and his children these days.

Jim took dessert to Megan’s house and knew she would love it. He knocked on the door and Tim led the way. There were other people there and Jim was surprised.

“Jim, this is Martin, an unbonded Guide. He wanted to meet you. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Good to meet you, Martin.” Jim shook his hand and felt that spark. Jim didn’t want to feel a fuckin' spark.

“And this is Michael, an unbonded sentinel. We’re hoping we can get him hooked up with Blair.” Megan said casually.

“What the fuck is going on?” Jim shouted at Megan.

“You don’t want him, am I right?”

“We’ve moved on, Megan.” Jim snarled back.

“Well, he’s moved nowhere. So we want him to meet Michael. Isn’t he cute?”

“Darling. I’m sure it’ll be just dandy. I’m going home.” Jim started for the door and she said, “No. You promised you would come and stay.”

“I’m not doing this, Conner. Get out of my way.” Jim was about to shove her aside when Martin walked up and said, “How about we take a walk. I’d like to get to know you better.”

Jim followed Martin out into the back yard and Jim began to pace. Martin had no problem keeping up with him. Finally he stopped him and said, “Can I kiss you? Nothing else. Just a kiss.”

Jim leaned down and kissed him and they kissed for a very long time. When he finally pulled away from Martin, he could hardly breathe. “Did that feel good to you, Martin?”

Martin took Jim’s hand and rubbed it across his very hard cock. “What do you think?”

“I would like to date you. How do you feel about that?” Martin asked as he hugged Jim.

“Can I have about a week to think? I’m having a hard time getting over Blair.”

“Then why aren’t you with him?”

“Because I know he wants more children and I can’t have anymore.” Jim said coldly.

“Seriously? I would be in heaven if I met someone that didn’t want to have kids. They scare me.”

Jim laughed and said, “I love my angels. They’re the most precious thing in the world. Can you carry babies?”


“Then you need to meet up with a Sentinel that has no children. Start fresh. How about Michael? He seemed nice and he’s very nice on the eyes.”

“Jim, you wouldn’t mind if I went and asked him out?”

“Not at all, Martin. I want you to be happy and I really think you need to be with someone that would have a child with you. Go and talk to him now. Better yet, let me send him out.”

“Thank you for everything, Jim.” Martin kissed Jim’s cheek and let Jim head on into the house.

“Michael, can I talk to you?” Jim called out from the kitchen.

“Sure. What’s up Jim?”

“Well, first of all, how do you feel about children?”

“I love children. I don’t have any yet because I’m unbonded.”

“So how do you feel about Martin?” Jim smiled over at the nervous man.

“Martin is my friend. I can’t bond with my friend. I’m sorry. He wants to bond with me?”

“He thinks you’re hot. He wants you bad and he wants to have a child with you. He can carry them.” Jim knew he was pushing, but it was worth it.

“Martin thinks I’m hot?” Michael wasn’t going to make this easy.

“Oh yeah he was making me crazy out in the back yard talking about it.”

“I really, really like Martin. He’s so sweet, nice, and precious not to mention, he’s fucking hot. Okay, I’ll do it.”

Jim moved up closer to Michael and whispered, “He’s waiting in the back yard for you. Be gentle and be kind. He really wants you.” Jim then shoved him out the doorway and watched as the men walked closer to each other.

Before long they embraced and the kissing became quite sizzling. Thankfully, neither man was talking so Jim wouldn’t get into any trouble.

Jim walked into the living room and sat down to talk with Megan and Tim.

“Where’s Michael?” Conner asked.

“He’s bonding with Martin. They’re hot for each other. They just didn’t know.” Jim answered.

“You did that on purpose so no one could have Blair. I hate you.” Megan stormed off towards their bedroom.

“I’ll be back.” Jim said as he followed her down the hall. “Megan, stop. Can I tell you something?”


“I decided that I’ve felt sorry for myself long enough and I’m going to beg his forgiveness tonight. If he’ll take me back, I’ll never ever treat him badly again. I promise, Conner.” Jim pulled her into his arms and he felt Tim’s arms go around him too.

“Are you really going to do that?” Megan asked.

“You bet your booty.”

“Hey, don’t be talking about her booty.” Tim teased.

They all walked into the living room and waited for Blair. Martin and Michael came through and said, “Hate to be shits, but we’re in the mood for love. See you all later. Oh Jim, you and Blair will be invited to our ceremony. Thanks, Megan and Tim.” And they flew out the door. Jim, Megan and Tim roared with laughter.

They discussed work until the doorbell rang. Megan opened it and she and Blair were laughing as they walked into the room. Blair tensed up as soon as he saw Jim was there.

“Jim, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know they were going to do this. Megan, you’re in big trouble.”

“Chief, can I talk to you?”

“Of course. I’m standing right here.”

“In private?” Jim pleaded.

“No, if you have to talk to me, you can talk in front of them. Do you want to talk or not?”

“Yes. Please sit down and listen.” Jim again was pleading.

Blair sat down next to Tim and waited.

“Chief, I’ll start at the beginning. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself. As if you didn’t lose a little girl also. I felt like it was only me because I carried her. Then when I found out that I couldn’t have any more, I figured you were just staying with me out of pity. So once more, pity for oneself. When you mentioned I didn’t touch you enough, I figured you were too demanding and yet again felt sorry for myself. No one’s life was as horrible as mine. I know it’s not, but that’s what I thought at the time. Anyhow, I was offered a date today and I realized I can’t date. I’m still in love with you. I’m never going to be out of love with you. But will you take me back? Will you allow me to love you for a second time? Will you ever trust me again? Do you still want me as a husband? Are you still sexually attracted to me? Will you move back home? God, I love you. Chief, please come home. Please let me love you. Let me show you I can do it right.” Jim lowered his head and waited for an answer. Any answer.

Blair moved to the sofa that Jim was sitting on and took Jim’s hand. “Yes.”

“Yes, to what?”

“Yes to everything. Jim, you’re my life. I’ve been lost without you. So let’s get this show on the road.” Blair stood up and Megan said, “Hey, you’re here for a barbecue.”

“Oh yeah. Jim, we’ll have to wait.”

“I don’t have to wait for this.” Jim pulled Blair onto his lap and began to kiss him like mad. “I missed you so much, baby.”

“And I missed you, Jim.”

They stayed for the barbecue and had a very nice time. While they were helping clean up the kitchen, the doorbell rang.

Megan walked in and said, “Jim, it’s for you.”


“Yeah. They’re waiting.” She shoved him in the direction of the front door.

Jim walked out to the front porch and Martin was standing there wearing a big smile. “Hey, Jim. I know what you did and I thank you. He’s really good in bed. And I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you doing this for us.”

“Hey, no problem. I loved seeing you guys make out in the back yard.” Jim could not stop the laughter.

“We’re having our ceremony next weekend and we want you and Blair to come. Thank you again.” Martin kissed Jim on the lips this time and rushed to the car with a waiting Michael.

When Jim walked in, Blair said, “What’s going on?”

“That was Martin and Michael. They were thanking me for some advice I gave.” Jim kissed Blair once again.

“Oh wow, word will get around and you’ll be Ask a Sentinel.” Megan teased.

“Chief, can we leave your car here and go home?”

“I’ll drive my car, Jim. I’ll follow you and then we’ll play with our kids.” Blair reached up, and pulled Jim down for a quick kiss.

“Speaking of kids, when is this baby coming?” Jim kidded as he rubbed Conner’s belly.

“I’m due next week. We’re hoping it’s soon. I’m miserable. I want to make love again.” She moaned.

“You’re not the only one, baby.” Tim kissed her quickly as to not get her motor running.

“We’ll see you both at work tomorrow.” Blair left first and then Jim hugged both of them and thanked them again for letting him know what he almost missed.

Jim called his dad while he was driving and William answered, “Ellison.”

“Dad, we have to come up with something more improved than that.”

“Well, you’re in a good mood. What’s going on?”

“Blair and I got back together. He forgave me for everything and he’s coming tonight.” Jim almost started crying while he told him.

“Jimmy, I’m so happy. Thank god.”

“Now don’t call him god when he gets there, it puts pressure on him.”

“You’re a very weird man, Jimmy. But I love you and I love Blair. The babies are going to be so happy.”

“Gotta go, Dad. I’m home.” Jim laughed as he closed the cell.

Blair pulled up right behind him and got out. “Were you talking to your dad?”

“Yup. I had to tell him. I swear he was sadder than I was about you being gone.”

“It’s nice that he loves me.”

“I love you!”

“Yeah, but that’s because we fuck each other. Your dad just loves me.”

“Wait a minute. I love you no matter what.” Jim was getting angry.

“Jim, get your ass in the house so we can see our babies.”

Jim grabbed Blair’s hand and pulled him into the house. Both babies came toddling down the entryway. Each man picked one up and then William came out and Blair realized, this was his life. And it was just as he wanted it. It wasn’t perfect, but it was beautiful.

Jim looked over at Blair being hugged by his father and thought to himself, ‘Self, you’re a little old to be discovering love. But thankfully you did and you won’t fuck it up again.’

The End.

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Acknowledgments: Thank you to Mary for the beta.